Fucked in Prospect Park? MIH Heatwave BBQ, The Sequel

Any of you OG's around here may recall the MIH Heatwave BBQ last summer around this time in Prospect Park. For those that need to be caught up, here's what went down:

Some co, MIH Ventures, threw a GIGANTIC BBQ in the park, without a permit, and then had the audacity to leave that bitch looking like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Trash was E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E and I mean everywhere. The park looked like it got date raped after some sorority party, and it literally took a team of volunteers days to get it looking like normal again. Needless to say, the Parks Dept was none too pleased, and our lil ole post got over 100 comments from various, angry-n-pissed off BKers.

Well a crafty FIPS reader has done her research and alerted us to the fact that this shit is going down AH-gain this Sunday, July 18th.

Jayzus.

Ok, I've got a few questions:

1. Do these MIH Venture bitches have a permit this time around??
2. If they DO have a permit, HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET ONE after the shitshow that was left last year?
3. If they *do* have a permit, and the Parks Dept was smoking crack long enough to actually issue them one, what measures are being taken this year to avoid turning Prospect Park into a rotting garbage barge again?

UPDATE: They do have a permit!? Uhm, how???

People are already getting pissy about this (myself included) and the damn thing hasn't even gone down. So fine: If MIH Ventures HAS gone ahead with plans to be responsible, manage their trash and not act like a little bitch this year, then I will stand corrected.

But as of now, know this: we are watching you "Heatwave BBQ"...and we're ready to bring down the wrath of Khan on your asses if you leave our park looking like Three Mile fucking island.

You've been warned.

HEY PROSPECT PARK: WE WANT FIREWORKS & WE WANT EM NOWWWWW!

Dear Prospect Park,

Whadda we gotta do to get some fireworks up in this bitch!?

Look: we appreciate the fact that you guys do fireworks on New Year's Eve...only no we really don't. Cause we're all out getting drunk-n-high and we don't even notice them. Point is, when most people think fireworks, they think July 4th! Fireworks and July 4th go together like shanananana rama lama ding dong...peanut butter and jelly...Lindsay Lohan and cocaine.

And I *know* that fireworks are expensive as shit, and you probs got to get all sorts of profesh peeps to set em off and stuff, but I guess what I'm wondering (and what I would assume ALL of Brooklyn is probably wondering today) is whether maybe you'd be open to switching shit up?

Like could we mebbe trade New Year's fireworks for July 4th fireworks?

It could be like a whole big Brooklyn event!

And, yeah, I'm guessing you can't compete with the bazillion dollar fireworks show that Macy's is putting on, but who gives a rat's ass! We could turn this bitch into a whole big, bad ass BK celebration! Fuck Manhattan!

Maybe you could even do some big all day festival where diff BK food vendors could set up throughout the park...or even along PPW. We could shut that whole motherfucker down and just have an all day fun fest. And if you can't afford to go hog wild on fireworks, schedule one of the cool ass Celebrate Brooklyn Shows for that night as a prequel. Then no one will even notice that your fireworks display is wimpy.

Point is, we don't even really give a shit...we just don't want to have to get on the subway to go to Manhattan. And I'm guessing there are a lotttt of other lazy assed motherfuckers like myself that would be all over that Prospect Park fireworks shit too.

What do you think, Prospect Park? Would you bitches be down?

Love,

FIPS

[Who the fuck's with me?? If you agree, sign your leave a comment below...this thing could kinda be like our own lil petition].

[FIPS CARES] Goose On The Loose

Someobody shot a motherfucking goose in Prospect Park with a motherfucking arrow!?

AYFKMWTS???

From the Manhattan Bird Club and FIDO Yesterday:

Today, a goose with an arrow in its neck eluded efforts capture by animal rescue volunteers and Park Rangers by flying off. It is important that the brid receive medical help if it is to survive.

If anyone happens to be in the vicinity of the Lake tomorrow and spots this wounded bird, please call the Park Supervisor's office at: 718-287-9889.

If anyone sees someone walking around Park Slope with a bow and arrow and Goose feathers in their hair, I think I speak for everyone at FIPS when I say: you have our FULL PERMISSION to kick the living shit out of them, wrestle them to the ground, and then take an iPhone photo to send to us [ok fine: I'm not REALLY telling you to go beat ppl up, but also this is seriously fucked up shit].

If I find out who did this I *will* cut a bitch.

p.s. I know this might be an inappropriate time to bring this up, but in Nursery School wed did Chicken Little as a play and I had a co-starring role as Goosey Lucy. So laugh if you must, but this shit now has an EXTRA layer of meaning for me.

(via The L Magazine)

Narcolepsy, Norah, and Me

Maybe it was the beat of the rain on my umbrella but Norah Jones had a seriously soporific effect on me last night. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was... fine, I was fucking bored to death. And it didn't help that I only got one fancy seat press pass so I got to sit in style all by my lonesome while friends and loved ones were exiled behind a fence in the cheap seats. VIPS like me get a white cotton hanky to wipe the seat off. They get plastic bag ponchos to don. And actual seats. At the front. 

I felt like a sell out. I missed my peeps. My proletariet. The hardworking real people outside of the bubble. Not enough to get up and move to my friends huddled far behind me, mind you, but I did contemplate it for like ten seconds.

So, I love Norah but I hadn't realized that what is great to listen to at home in the background doesn't necessarily translate to a not-to-be-missed concert experience. 

The outfit was awesome. I want that blue polka-dotted dress with the red petticoat. Vintage? Had to be.

I didn't get the need for all that atmospheric fog that kept blowing. I mean, shit, it was a fucking monsoon already. At one point, Norah was virtually obscured in smoke.

Good cover of Johnny Cash. Winsome, sweetly awkward repartee. Is NJ from Texas? She sounded twangy when she spoke. Great voice. But I don't like the country phase as much as the old, original bluesy stuff. Just sooooooo meh somehow. Not lighter worthy...probably a good thing since I may have set fire to my umbrella.

Don't Know Why.

You?

Full disclosure: I decamped for home before ten so maybe I missed the best stuff! 

Norah! Norah! Norah!!!!

Norah Jones. TODAY, June 9.  Prospect Park Bandshell. 7pm. Free. Or so they say.

Give us the inside line on best seats. When do you actually need to arrive? Best picnic food nearby? Best cheap wine? Best BK brew?

I'm going to buy a lighter for this one, I tell you.

Click to read more ...