OK, Who's The Dick (or Dicks) That Destroyed A Bunch of Greenwood Cemetery Monuments?

Photo via Gothamist

Cut it out with the steroids, you guys. Seriously.

Recent vandalism in Greenwood Cemetery -- obviously caused by a group of roid-raging idiots, because who else would have THAT much pent-up aggression -- has left 43 tombstones, crosses, and arches knocked over or destroyed. The NYPD Hate Crimes Unit is investigating the situation, and at least one of the vandals was caught by security cameras. Repairs are estimated to cost $100,000, but some of the damage is irreparable. Looks like the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad people have won this round. Fuck those guys.

Seriously, there are so many better ways to take out your aggression in the neighborhood. Here are some recommendations for ways to build it up and get it out (vandals: take note):

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Get Your Ass To Greenwood And See The Cherry Blossoms

Photo via www.facebook.com/historicgreenwood

If I've learned anything from visiting the Botanic Gardens, it's that once the Cherry Blossoms are out, I have to haul ass over there to see them PRONTO before they shed and become completely bare. This is a fairly fast process, aided by children who shake the shit out of the trees to make the pretty petals drop faster.

The superintendent of grounds Art at Greenwood Cemetery also wants us to get our asses over there to check out their early bloomage:

"Magnolias and early cherry trees blooming now. Flowering quince, forsythia and pieris blooming now. Minor bulbs like crocus, hyacinth and snow drops blooming now. Hellebore and daffodils blooming now. All of this is a good two weeks early.

So take advantage of this gorgeous week and walk over there to check out the cherry blossoms before they go the way of Old Yeller.

[My Favorite Park Slope...] Place to catch the foliage

I know that Greenwood Cemetery is *technically* not in Park Slope. I know this. But when I first moved to Brooklyn I lived on 27th street and 5th avenue -- a place that the broker described as "the southern tip of Park Slope." So for a year I thought that me, the cemetery and everyone buried inside of it was in fact part of the beloved Brownstone Bugaboo nabe that the likes of Steve Buscemi and John Turturro called home.

Last Wednesday, my boyfriend and I took advantage of the beautiful 65 degree day and wandered south down 7th ave. When we hit 23rd street, we walked the perimeter of the cemetery -- down the avenues and across the number streets, until reaching the main entrance at 25th street and 5th ave. Once inside, we were greeted LOUDLY by the giant, wild parrots that live at the very top of the main entrance gate. 

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