WHY’S IT GOTTA BE *BLACK* FRIDAY?

This past Friday was Black Friday: the day where no one pays retail. Who came up with that name, Helen Keller? So what’s Jewish Friday, then: a day of fried chicken and hoops?

I’ve been very sensitive to names with the word “Black” in them ever since a high school professor made a kid stand outside our classroom for using the word “Blackball.” He was actually a very fair, devoted jazz teacher who was just trying to prove a point, though he got reprimanded by our uptight Parents Association for the rampage he unleashed on the kid:

“BLACKmail? BLACKball? You will NEVER hear me use those goddamn words. Howdja like it if I went round talkin’ bout I’mma Jew ya parents down when I go to buy a diamond ring?”

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