SUBWAY DOUCHEBAGS: Q Train; Exhibit #1
Erica | Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 6:55AM 
Exhibit #1: complete fucking douchebags on the downtown Q train to Brooklyn, 2.10.09, approx 5:40pm.
Maybe I live in some sort of alternative fucking universe...in a land called Honalee. Cause When I see a woman like the Sylvia Weinstock chick above on the subway, I immediately get my fat ass up outta my seat and give it to her. In my 8 years in NY I've met many other women like myself...but virtually no men.
Amazingly, everytime I relay this sort of subway story, every male in the room immediately says "I ALWAYS GET UP FOR OLDER WOMEN AND PREGNANT WOMEN," and yet I almost never, ever, never, EVER see it. In fact, I didn't even take a pic of the OTHER side of the subway car, where 5 (cause I counted) fat, ugly dumbass dudes were also sitting, watching this lil ole lady stand there like she's at a fucking "Under The Sea" dance waiting for one of em to give her a goddammed corsage.
[Stares]. That's all she got. Until that nice woman (blurry in the corner) got up and gave up HER seat.
So, fuck it...I'm in documentation mode now (*MissTA has inspired me).
subway 
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Reader Comments (20)
I have never, ever seen a man give up his seat to an older woman or a pregnant woman.
However, In my 10 months living in NYC, when I have had my daughter in a stroller, I have been asked if I would like their seat by exactly 2 men.
I've always declined because it's generally easier for me to stay by the door standing up than to sit down with the stroller, but there are a few men out there. Of course, the men who have offered have all been a little older (45+). Apparently, the 45 and under generation is full of douche bags.
I probably don't do this as often as I could but it's only because I'm kind of zoned out on the train and don't really notice much. Blame a podcast, magazine or scotch but maybe these guys just didn't notice? Or they're just dicks.
Heather, I agree. My dad always gives up his seat but he's freakin' 61 years old.
...and Erica thank you! I was just saying to my husband the other day, I want to go around and take pictures of douchebags...not just on the subway but just in general, like when some punk in a sports car saw my mom waiting for a parking spot and then just swoops in with his little car.
Look for me on the D, N, or the R. I do it all the time. Especially for the older Asian women who get on at Grand St. with a million grocery bags.
I am a man under 45, and I ride the subway every day. Let me tell you, if I were to give up my seat for every elderly woman, pregnant lady, stroller mom, person with bags etc. that I saw on the train, I would never get to sit!
I understand the concept of chivalry, but women need to expect chivalry within reason. I'll offer my seat if a pregnant/elderly/disabled person is within comfortable speaking distance. Don't count on me to screen the entire subway car for somebody who may need a seat more than me...it ain't happnin'.
Oh, and as a man who has gotten up for someone in need, have that person refuse the seat, and then have someone ELSE who is not needy sit in the seat I offered, I always think twice before offering.
i am a man, 28 years old, who always get's up for old/pregant/women with small kids. what i still do not understand is the lack of younger women types getting up for these same persons. a woman comparable to my age has no more problem standing up than i do. in my opinion every woman sitting down on this subway car should be labeled a douche as well.
True. I get up if I notice an old lady, but I'll admit I'm usually so zoned out that there are probably plenty of times I don't notice. These guys are probably in the same boat. If there are only a few seats open, though, I usually won't sit down in the first place.
Also agree that it doesn't make sense that young guys are supposed to get up but not girls. And what about old dudes? Don't they deserve seats too? Young people should get up for old people. I don't see why gender has anything to do with it.
and heather. to say you have never seen a man get up for an older/pregnant woman is strange. i see you have only lived int he city/brooklyn 10 months. how often do u ride the subway. because i must see this happen at least a couple of times a week. granted i ride the subway every day during peak rush hours. or perhaps you ride the subway with your eyes closed?
I've actually made it a point not to sit on trains unless there's seats available and people who are less able than me have had their chance to sit. It's just easier. Then I don't have to get up and be all self-righteous about how noble I am. If I do get up, I try to make it look like, "Oh, yeah, I was just gonna get up anyway. Why don't you have a seat?"
Re-reading the previous paragraph, I realize how weird that all sounds. Every word is true, though.
Ok, I ride the subway every day, twice a day from Park Slope to Union Square. I'm pretty much always on the Q, though sometimes I take the N and switch to the 2/3 at Atlantic.
These are my rough estimates:
*% of time I see people (ANY people) get up to give an older person or a pregnant woman a seat when they *should*: 7%
*Of the people that give up seats, % that are women: 99%
I'm not saying young women shouldn't ever give up their seat...what I'm saying is I almost NEVER see men do it...and it pisses me off. And honestly, the whole "I didn't notice" or "I was zoned out" thing doesn't fly with me. I'm on the subway for 40+ minutes a day...how zoned out can you really get? Look around! FIPS Cares!
I have to agree, old people really shouldn't be riding the subway. Where the hell does that old bag have to go, anyway? Hot date with Wilford Brimley? Save everybody the hassle and take your Hoveround next time, or your 1992 Buick Le Sabre. Sure you may run over a few dozen people at the GAP Greenmarket, but at least I won't have to gaze upon your haggard flesh and contemplate my own mortality.
i do find that men are becoming less and less chivalrous, but some good ones are out there. i too have given u[ seats, and the most important thing we all should do is help women with kids in strollers up the stairs. my back is permanently messed up from carrying my kid in a stroller, and I still help any other mom i see.
Unfortunately we can blame feminism for the loss of chivalry. That makes me want to cry.
I am 7 months pregnant, and look it. I ride the subway to and from work every day. I find it difficult to stand for the 45-minute ride, since I'm often lightheaded. I am offered a seat maybe 1/4 of the time. One day I was sitting on the floor because I felt so sick and I still wasn't offered a seat. I had to switch to the local train. People suck.
Funny. Just this morning I saw two d-bag-looking, but unrelated guys on the F get up for others. One got up for a little kid and the other got up for her father. I wondered if maybe they had been reading this blog...
I think people overall are just ruder than they used to be. I'm 9 months pregnant and ride the subway daily, but it's rare that I'll get a seat. I know that people don't "have to" offer me a seat and that it's a polite courtesy. But what bothers me is when a seat does become vacant as someone exists and they SEE that I am trying to get to it, commuters (both men and women) will still try to snag it from me.
Yo-
just throwing something out- sometimes people are wary to offer seats to a seemingly pregnant woman just in case she's merely overweight. And sometimes they don't offer to the elderly, because they might be Jewish (and lord knows our tribe doesn't like to be comfortable).
Steven elliott's comment is the best thing on our whole website.
erica is spot on. i've been commuting for 10+ years and it's almost always (late 20's - 40's) women offering up seats. Occasionally you see a man do this, not often, and in my experience 80% of those times it's a black guy. the whole thing pisses me off. some friends of mine were going to try to do a study on this. it's pretty interesting. people really are more what you call 'zoned' out, (what i call ruder) than they used to be.
I loved this post...so TRUE...I used to see this ALL the time when I lived there. GREAT blog by the way!
Jen Ramos
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