Sorry, Wrong Number

In these days of Caller ID, there aren't too many quaint old-fashioned types who actually still answer their home phones to unknown callers. Except my new friend Phil, who per his wife will spend a half hour on any given day answering consumer surveys about satisfaction with Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins and/or listening politely to sales pitches for stuff he doesn't need or want.

So I was having coffee at their house when the phone rings and it's Special Agent 585 of New Jersey wanting to talk to Phil about his bounty-hunting training school. Now, I wish I could capture the expression on Phil's face at this point because it was priceless. As it happens, Phil is a British finance geek ("wanker banker" as they say in the trades) and former wannabe liberation theologian--and so yeah: he's DEFINITELY not running an illegal bounty-hunter school.

Turns out the house phone number is the same as the one listed all over the internet for US Recovery Bureau, lately of BK and Passaic, NJ, which according to SA 585 has been a bit naughty this holiday season. Seems that the former holders of Phil's phone number were offering sham training courses for would-be bounty hunters but have since been shut down and may right this moment be hiding in plain site somewhere in Park Slope. But not at Phil's house.

This whole surreal tea party reminded me of a phone number mishap we had back in the day. My husband once fielded a late night booty phone call from somebody looking for Allison. The caller was understandably taken aback and a bit upset to hear that she had a husband and was asleep next to him. A few days later, the phone rings and it's somebody named Allison. It turns out that Allison's boyfriend had abrupty broken up with her after accusing her of having a secret husband and kids. Her number was one off from ours and she had spent several days calling every possible number combination before getting us.

Anybody want to spill about your own bounty hunting past or, alternately, any phone misdialing stories?

Oh, and if you're still shopping for Christmas, perhaps you'd like to consider a gift of the online correspondence course, Let The Manhunt Begin, taught by Phil's former phone number holder, fugitive bounty hunter Elscott Harrell, available at his website for the bargain price of $129.99.