Shit To Do on Independence Day: Brooklyn Edition

Happy 1st of July! Rent's due, but at least we have a long holiday weekend coming up to numb the pain. For those of you who say *NO GRACIAS* to the giant cluster fuck that is Manhattan on the evening of July 4th, I am absolutely with you. If you're planning on staying in Brooklyn on Monday and want to do more than pass out in Prospect Park after tossing back a tray of Jell-O shots, READ ON:

NATHAN'S HOT DOG CONTEST - CONEY ISLAND (11:30AM, FREE)

Well damned if I didn't just put on a black leotard and sing into a fudgesicle, "All the hungry ladies! (All the hungry ladies!)" That's right, guys. The first-EVER Women's Championship will begin at 11:30AM, followed by the Men's Championship at 12:00PM. This place is the mother of all cluster fucks though, so if you're not into large, sweaty crowds with equally sweaty hot dogs, you may want to sit this one out.  

The 10-minute, all-you-can-eat contests will feature nearly 30 eaters from around the world, including four-time Nathan’s Famous champ Joey “Jaws” Chestnut of San Jose, CA and the women’s division favorite, 100-pound eating phenom Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas of Alexandria, VA. Chestnut and Thomas hold the men’s and women’s hot dog eating world records with 68 hot dogs and buns and 41 hot dogs and buns, respectively.

FREEDOM STRUT AND MINI DECLARATION SIGNING - PARK SLOPE (1:00PM, FREE)

What does your freedom strut look like? Mine looks a lot like this. 

If you're feeling less like Jell-O shots and more into behaving like hilarious author and American history buff Sarah Vowell, check out some historical reenactments this weekend at Lefferts Historic House, one of a small number of farmhouses from Brooklyn's Dutch settlement. On Sunday, celebrate emancipation (July 4, 1827) with historic storytelling. On Monday, kids will make a feathered cap and practice their John Hancock on a reproduction of the Declaration of Independence. Lefferts Historic House, Flatbush and Ocean avenues and Empire Boulevard. Freedom Strut: Sun., July 3, 1-4 p.m. Signing: Mon. July 4, 1 p.m.

ZOOGMA AT BROOKLYN BOWL - WILLIAMSBURG (6:00PM, $5)

Zoogma combines the sonic diversity and precision of a DJ with the excitement and immediacy of a five piece rock group. Known for their energetic performances and retina pleasing light show, the band consistently dishes out heavy-weight beat-driven dance parties across the nation. Sets are kinetic, combining live improvisation with carefully crafted beats and melodic textures.

With the release of their debut album, Recreational Vehicles, along with a relentless tour schedule, the five members have already added their unique voice to the live electronic-rock scene. Evolving in Oxford, MS, Zoogma’s sound can be described as an eclectic fusion of Electronica, Rock, Jazz, World, and Hip-Hop. This blend of genres results in a musical experience that appeals to a range of audiences, with a sound that is refreshingly original yet steeped in the dance music tradition.

Maybe if enough people shout out the request they'll play their SWEET Ghostbusters cover. 

The Sheryll Princess Cruise - SHEEPSHEAD BAY (3:30-11:00PM, $125)

If you've got the dough to drop, "dance the night away to the sounds of an NYC renown DJ, drink it up at the bar with family and friends, and enjoy the complimentary buffet that’s included with a ticket purchase." Not that I have the cashmoneyhos to even think about a cruise, but since they don't list who the DJ is or what the buffet is made of can we assume its DJ Uncle Edmund with a love for Wayne Newton and cold cuts? 

The cruise will leave scenic Sheepshead Bay in Brooklyn and travel under the Verrazano Bridge to New York Harbor. You will pass close by the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Governors Island, The South Street Seaport and out to see the fireworks (ie, a dozen bottle rockets in DJ Uncle Edmund's overgrown backyard). 

THE INTERNATIONAL AFRICAN ARTS FEST - DOWNTOWN BK (10AM-9PM, FREE)

This four-day annual arts and crafts festival, a Brooklyn summer institution since 1971 (and formerly held at Boys and Girls High School), includes an African Marketplace, dance and music performances, and fashion shows. 

The festival takes place at Commodore Barry Park (Navy Street, between Park and Flushing Avenues, on the border between Downtown Brooklyn and Fort Greene) rain or shine, July 1-4, 10AM-9PM 

BAM PRESENTS: SOME LIKE IT HOT - PARK SLOPE (4:30, 7:00, 9:15PM, $12)

Some like it hot, some like it not. If the summer sun is too much for you to handle (like my Irish ginger sister), head to BAM's Rose Cinema and watch Marilyn Monroe seduce Tony Curtis on a couch in Some Like It Hot: When two musicians witness a mob hit, they flee the state in an all female band disguised as women, but further complications set in.

MACY'S FIREWORKS - YOUR ROOF (9:00ish, FREE)

Yeah, it sucks that Jersey gets a better view than us, but hey, the east side got the fireworks for 33 years straight. The pyrotechnics are launched from six barges spaced between 20th and 55th Sts on the Hudson River, and 40,000 fireworks will shoot into the night sky. Beyoncé will perform ("All The Hungry Ladies," perhaps?) along with Brad Paisley. Nick Lachey is hosting, which means both Pauly D and the cast of The Hills were busy.