[Review'd] Bareburger!

 

After much anticipation, 7th avenue's Bareburger has finally ripped down the brown paper and opened its doors! This is the restaurant's fourth location in New York City, and the first in Brooklyn. This past Wednesday night I stopped by with two of my girlfriends for some burgers and milkshakes. There was great food, an obscure celeb sighting and we even had our pictures taken for the Brooklyn paper! All in all, not a bad fucking evening.

Photo by Much To My Delight

First, let's talk decor: Bareburger's vibe is colorful, but not vom-inducing bright. The chairs are orange and green, and the exposed brick walls are peppered with patterned, fake bear heads. I was curious to know what the heads are made from, because it's WAY fancier than paper mache, but I didn't dare touch one. As an overly excitable kid whom often pet the family cat too hard, I've been threatened by many a storeowners with, "You break, you buy!" Between the heads and the Dada-esque chandeliers, which were made from silverware and glass milk bottles,  I found the whole place to be adorable and quirky (this comes from the girl who shops at Urban Outfitters and saw Juno in the theater three times, so take it or leave it). I arrived around 7:30PM and waited with my two girlfriends about twenty minutes for a table.

vanilla milkshake

 Once sat we ordered three milkshakes: vanilla, strawberry and chocolate peanut butter (small $4.95, large $6.95). I was interested in sampling the pistachio shake, but not all flavors were available at the time. According to the menu, all shakes are made with organic Blue Marble ice cream, organic milk and organic fruits. Each came in a malt cup with a spoon and a pint glass for pouring. I found the tastiest to be my friend Vanessa's chocolate peanut butter milkshake. It wasn't too sweet, and there were chunks of peanut butter swirled through out the shake.

While the menu lists desirable salads (like the Cranberry Blue, with baby spinach, cranberries, danish blue, almonds and apple cider vinaigrette, $9.95) and various sandwiches, we were there to get our BURGER ON. 

There are lots of proteins to choose from, including beef, turkey, lamb, bison, ostrich and elk. That's right, guys. ELK. For the vegetarians, like my friend Courtney, Bareburger offers a pairing of any burger style with your choice of veggie burger or portabella mushroom. To add choice to choices, there are bun options as well: brioche bun, multi-grain roll, iceberg lettuce wrap, wheat flour wrap and for you gluten-free folk, a tapioca rice bun! I opted for the elk burger on brioche because when the fuck am I ever going to eat elk again? I didn't even know people ate elk. 

The Ruby Burger with Elk / I wish my photos were better.I ordered the burger medium and prepared with their recommended Ruby style ($10.95 + an additional $1.45 for the elk protein), which comes with a topping of pastrami, baby swiss, sauerkraut, tomato and Bareburger's special sauce. Usually I'm not a fan of additional meat on a MEAT burger, but I have to say that this burger was DEE-LICIOUS. The elk meat was cooked perfectly and tasted like a good cut of sirloin steak. Though once I home I maniacally Googled images of graceful, beautiful elk. Then it tasted a little like shame. But mostly it was delicious. 

We also ordered a basket of hand-cut fries for the table, which are cooked in 100% peanut oil and come with three dipping sauces: spicy chipotle mayo, curry ketchup and the bareburger special sauce (as someone who can't handle spicy shit, the special sauce was my favorite. Couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but there was something pickled about it). The fries were crunchy and did a good job of holding us over until the burgers came to the table.

While we were eating a very nice man approached and asked if he could take our photo for The Brooklyn Paper. After asking us to write our names down for the caption, he turned to my friend, whose name happens to be Courtney Love. "That's not your real name," he mused. "Is it?" She nodded. This happens all the time. "Wow," he said. "It must be hard to Google you." Indeed it is.

Lastly, the obscure celeb sighting! First, let me say this: I am mediocre at most things that one might find useful in being a successfully-functioning human being (see: a good sense of direction, basic math). I am, however REALLY good at a few things NOT so useful to the average person (see: eating cheese). I'm also a super sleuth when it comes to both spotting and naming subjectively less recognized celebrities. Last night at Bareburger I spotted Dan Futterman, Oscar-nominated writer of the film Capote, and the actor who played the son of Robin Williams and Nathan Lane in The Birdcage (side note: how AMAZING is Hank Azaria in that movie???). 

The total bill for all three of us came to $61.08, which isn't bad when paired with desirable phrases like, "organic, grass-fed and pasture-raised." I'll definitely be going back for more -- I just won't seek out some documentary on the beauty of the bison after ordering it medium rare with a topping of raw milk cheddar and applewood smoked bacon. 

Bareburger is located at 170 7th avenue, and is open daily from 11AM-11PM -- 718-768-BARE (2273)