Raise Your Hand If You Wanna Get Laid

Look, my name isn't Heidi Fleiss, so of course I can't GUARANTEE that you'll get laid at the Naughty Office Holiday Party this Weds night at the Bell House, but I can tell you this much:

• The Bell House will be busting at the seams with lots of hot-n-sexy single bros and bitches.
• There will be some major drink specials (i.e. EVERYONE WILL BE DRUNK).
• People are always way lonelier around the holiday time.
• DJ Car Stereo Wars is gonna provide you with lots of opps to dirty dance up against ppl.
• The sexy sandwich bar will provide you with the fuel you'll need to flirt ALL. NIGHT. LONG.
• You can take holiday pics at our makeshift Sears portrait studio to remember this night 4 evs.
• All Most Some of our single FIPS writers will be there.
• I looked it up: statistically speaking, apart from Sat, Weds is the 2nd most popular night of the week to get laid. 

So you should obvs go get your tix pronto.

And just to grease the rails a bit, I'm gonna give 5 tix away (so like, if you DO get laid, you'll actually owe me money).

If you wanna win a free ticket, just leave a comment below and tell me what type of lady or bro you are lookin for. Make it short-n-sweet. Like mine would be: In search of Basset Hound loving, Woody Allen watching 6 foot tall baller4life bro or some shit. Oh and make sure the email addy you use with your comment is ginuwine, otherwise I won't have any way of getting in touch.

Ok, have at it!

Naughty Office Holiday Party
Weds, 12/8
Bell House
7-11pm
Tix are $10 ahead of time and $12 at the door.

BUY. TIX. HURRR.