PROFILES IN COURAGE: Alice Bradley of Finslippy

She had me at the title of her new book: Let's Panic About Babies! How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant Who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being. 

Voted the funniest and second best (the nerve of them!) mama blogger by Babble and sundry others, Alice Bradley is a BR-ALLER! And she lives in Park Slope. She used to live in New Jersey, and so she has the dubious honor of being New Jersey's top mom blogger too.

And even though she makes her biz laughing about parenting on her blog Finslippy with topics like "someone get my inlaws/parents/siblings out of my house/apartment/lean to" and "your body is changing; it's worse than you think," she doesn't read Park Slope Parents! For that alone, we love her best of all.

Alice's new book (co-written with her similarly talented bud Eden Kennedy) should be required reading for every big-bellied broad currently cluttering Park Slope's sidewalks with their hormones and time bombyness. And it will give us even more reason for feeling smug around here because she's all ours. She even broke up with a four bedroom house and backyard for us. 

When and why did you move here? Didn’t you move to New Jersey and then back again?
 
Oh, I moved here back in the early nineties, and I can't remember why. Because I found a cheap apartment, most likely. Remember those?  

We did move to New Jersey. We were there for three years, and then we moved back. In a nutshell: we realized in the end that we valued being close to friends and family more than we valued having a backyard. And driveway. And attic. And four bedrooms. Wait, why DID we move back?

In all honesty, there were many things to love there, and we still miss our friends. But two freelancers should not own a 100-year-old home. If there's a possibility of something in your ancient house crumbling and/or exploding, you require a more predictable source of income. 

What do you like most/least about Park Slope?

I like that it feels like a small town, and I can't walk half a block without running into someone I know. On the other hand, it feels like a small town, and I can't walk half a block without running into someone I know. This is really only a problem when I'm busy with serious thoughts, or eating a Popsicle and crying. Listen, sometimes I need a little me time.

Our illustrious neighbor Jonathan Safran Foer likened Park Slope to Sesame Street in HIS profile in courage. Are we all like characters in Sesame Street to you?

Well I was GOING to say that, but Mr. Fancy Novelist stole my line. As usual. Don't ask me about my unpublished novel, "Incredibly Near and Unreasonably Loud." 

What’s your experience with the Food Coop or any other coops, for that matter? How many are you in?

I belong to zero co-ops. I wanted to join but my husband wouldn't hear of it. He's against it. I could probably force him into it, but I got sleepy. Talk to him.

How old is your kid and what do you make of the broad who is suing her kid's preschool for not adequately preparing her for Ivy Leagues?

My son is 8. Wait, what? She did? She…but why? Wait, will MY kid go to an Ivy League? HOW DO WE KNOW? I am really not doing this parenting thing right.

What’s the strangest/funniest thing that’s happened to you since you moved to Park Slope? Where do you get your material for your blog/book? Let me guess...

That's a lot of pressure you're putting on me. I have some anecdotes, but all I can think is, are they the funniest? You call that strangest, Bradley? I give up. NEXT.

I get my material from whatever is, you know, going on in my life. That's the worst answer to any question, ever. Do I win a prize for that?

Are you a reader of Park Slope Parents? Did you pay the 25 bucks? Do you ever comment?

I don't belong to the PSP mailing list, but I do visit the website pretty frequently. How else will I figure out which day camps are any good and whether or not a dentist will get my son into an Ivy League? (Gum health is key. You heard it here first, kids.)

Breeders in Park Slope are in desperate need of some reputation management. Do you have any opinions on whether Park Slope parents (not the listserv) deserve our bad rep and whether we should rebrand? And if so, your suggestions for righting the ship?

Oh, we probably deserve it. I think we all need to have more of a sense of humor and let it go. Just let the hate wash over us. WHOOSH. Don't we all feel better now? There's nothing else to be done, anyway. Should the parents get all feisty and fire angry missives at the child-free Park Slope haters? Yeah, that won't make us look defensive and silly at ALL.

It's all silly. Life is short. Group hug!

No? You're all going to leave me standing here, with my arms out? ….okay.

Where do you come down on:

kids menus:

Are we against kid's menus? Why won't you let my darling have his Chicken Nuggets? Okay, no, I don't think they need to be in every restaurant, or even most restaurants. If you're going to visit a locavore's paradise, you can't expect them to offer grilled american cheese on white bread. But at Dizzy's, please, yes, thank you. 

babies in bars:

That's just silly. Babies are terrible at holding their liquor. 

nannies working their bosses food coop shifts:

They do that?! My stars! From what I know of the co-op, such an idea is anathema. I'm sure there's some sort of Judging Board that would come down on you pretty hard. I bet they wear hooded velvet robes. You're probably one of them. I should stop answering this question now. 

Have you read Amy Sohn’s Prospect Park West? (and even if you haven’t, please give us your potted review):

I have not read it, sadly. Give you a review? Buh? I like to know a little something about a book, from, you know, the words in it, and how they are arranged. Otherwise I would sound stupid. Which I'm sure is the last thing you want.

Favorite local:

restaurants (divey and fancy): I am enjoying Thistle Tavern quite a bit these days, because it's close to our new place and I am lazy. As for divey, hmm. Does Fatoosh count as divey? I do love their everything. 

coffee joint: If I go out for coffee, which is becoming increasingly rare as I am cheap, I go to Red Horse. See above, re: close. Also they're really nice there. I like nice people. If someone is mean to me, the place is DEAD to me. Dead. Don't ask me about the Connecticut Muffin on 1st Street. (DEAD.)

place to hang: What is this "hang," you speak of? Is this code for drinking? If so, I am a fan of Commonwealth. 

Thanks Finslippy! I'm looking for you at the next Freaky Family Friday!

Follow Alice on Twitter: @finslippy

Buy her book: Let's Panic About Babies!

Read her blog: Finslippy