Pizza? There's An [Park Slope] App For That

Image via dadventures.comPark Slope: Where all the women are [fill in the blank*], the men are [fill in the blank*] and the children are above average but are also such lazy spoiled shits that they use their above-average intelligence to more effectively and efficiently be lazy spoiled shits. 

Five entitled Park Slope teenage boys (two of whom have already dropped out of college) came up with an app that provides one-tap pizza delivery service, because, ya know, I mean, calling or going on the internets or whatever, to get pizza brought to your doorstep?  That is bullshit!

Apparently I too am a lazy spoiled shit because I am totally getting this app. A lot of pizza is ordered in our house, and I can’t explain why, but I fucking hate that task, from start to finish. So much discussion, so much to decide: 

• Where should we order from?
• What kind of pie?
• Do you have any cash? No? Then we'll have to order from the place that takes cards over the phone.
• But what about a tip?
• Ask the kids if they have any cash lying around. We'll "pay them back later."

See? It’s a fucking nightmare, ordering pizza!

Pizza's here, gotta go! Good news, kids. The tip is prepaid.

*like Mad Libs™