Park Slope: The #1 Hood for Ordering Steamed Kale, Fresh Dumplings, Affairs

Our posts on Park Slope, whatever the hell they're about, often lead to three very solid conclusions:

1. Everyone--like, everyone--is married. And if they're not, there's something functionally wrong with them, since this is obviously the only logical conclusion. You follow? Good, glad.
2. No one is having sex. Because: a) everyone is married or b) there's something functionally wrong with him her, in which case, see 1. You're still with me? Good.
3. There is no 3, because you've all stopped reading by then, since this exists, and you have a pre-natal yoga class to go to anyway...or because you're late for your DATE TO MEET YOUR MISTRESS FROM ASHLEY MADISON.

GOOD -- GLAD YOU ARE DEFINITELY STILL WITH ME ON THAT ONE FOR SURE.

NY Mag's Daily Intel blog reports that Park Slope is numero uno (in NYC) for you cheating, scheming motherfuckers -- first placating your wives with Bugaboos, Lululemon giftcards, and Xanax (which, honestly, really doesn't sound like that bad of a deal for some folks) before running off to your carefully orchestrated affairs on Ashley Madison, the OK Cupid of cheating on your wife. I don't know. There's something like...really un-hot about this. It's like Seamless Web for affairs or something. 

UPDATE: And yes, tons of chicks cheat, too. Indeed, I know many of them who have. Please excuse my blatant 2k12 man-hating. Blame my mother or society or someone else, and now please talk about your wife who cheated on you, too, because I'd like to hear about that, as well. Juicy's juicy, gang.