Park Slope Deflowered

First your dog gets mugged, then you're forced to participate in the ritual sacrifices in Prospect Park, and THEN your garden gets raped...welcome to the wonderful world of living in Park Slope!

Yep, I'm totally serious, ppl. That's the situation around these parts lately according to the Brooklyn Paper, who fills us in a "bulb thief" who is stealing potted plants and flowers around the neighborhood like whoa: "Victims say that the bandit has been stealing buds and bulbs for some time in and around an the area where Sixth, St. Marks and Flatbush avenues converge."

Ok, so stealing is NOT generally funny. But you gotta admit: this is *kind of* a *little bit* funny. Like I wonder if someone is stealing this shit for an actual reason (Like reselling em? Planting them in some Robin Hood garden somewhere?), or if the reason simply is: BWAHAHAHHHHAAA. LOOK AT ALL THE RICH, WHITE PEOPLE CHAINING UP THEIR TULIP PLANTS!!"

Anyway, we get it tulip thief. Hardy har har. Now its time to relax.

[Sidenote, is this not the most beautiful time of the year!? The flowering trees are blooming in the park, and soon the lilacs will be out...even a bitter bitch like me loves the shit outta Spring].