Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FREE: Dog Grooming

If my dog was as ugly as you I’d shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards. This professional dog groomer is training a new student and needs some dogs to shave. He’s saying it’s haircuts only but he’s got to cut nails too right? Let’s hope so.

PARTY:  Kid’s Halloween Party

We’ve got two Halloween parties on Saturday. Our first one is for kids. 11-3. There will be shitty candy and puppet stuff. If kids are into puppets now that would be pretty neat. We didn’t land on Fraggle Rock. Fraggle Rock landed on us.  There will be Star Wars characters and a bouncy castle as well. Sounds like a good time.

PARTY: Adult Halloween Party

And this is the party you probably want to go to. I’ve never been to this bar but they have a ton of games. Shuffleboard, pool, ski ball. There is a buffet and raffles. Partial proceeds go to an animal shelter. If you’re in the area and have nothing to do Saturday night this seems like a no-brainer.

MISSED CONNECTION: Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

This is what we’re here for isn’t it? Let’s just get to god damn Missed Connections already. If you’re a lady and took the F train home late Thursday night this post could have been written for you! You sat down between two people and changed your shoes. It was a long day and you didn’t feel like wearing heels all the way home. Little did you know that the 42 year old man across the car was watching and admiring. Well, he was quite taken with your tootsies. To be completely frank he’d just love to spray your feet with his jizzum. 

MISSED CONNECTION: What are you looking at? Keep jogging, bro.

This guy goes jogging every night. He notices they look in his direction. Maybe because they hear the sound of running feet pounding after them in the dark? Nah. He’s pretty sure it’s because they want to bang. So he’s here asking how a handsome stud like himself can bag some of these street ladies. Let’s all pray he jogs into on open sewer one day soon.

MISSED CONNECTION: Walking Dick

The title of this is “Walking Dead hoodie, backwards black hat, camo pants and air jordans.” I groaned as I clicked it expecting a girl to be crushing on a guy with horrible taste. However, she isn’t crushing on him at all. Here’s the rub (pun intended) this guy was staring at her on the subway. And then he took his pecker out and started masturbating right out in the open. Fortune favors the bold? I’m not a lawyer but this has to be illegal. She snapped a pic and we’re going to attach it here. Spread the word. This person is disgusting and should be punished.