Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

Barter – Wizards

I've been doing this for two months and only just now did I realize there is a barter section on Craigslist. What have we been missing? Well, wizards. I guess. It's a cell from an animated movie by the guy who did the first X-rated feature length cartoon.  That's weird but men will masturbate to anything.  I vividly remember snapping one off while playing Jet Moto 2 and if I could find my old Playstation I'm confident I'd do it again. Are these wizards in wetsuits? And freakishly large breasted? If so I'd trade my Jet Moto 2 copy for the cell.

Barter - Romulan Ale

Star Trek Beer.  It's probably not as good as Star Wars beer. The trader is telling you as much. It's still good enough for butt chugging though. Scotty, beam this up into my rectum.  Trader is looking for other collectibles in return. Somebody left me a cigar store Indian a while ago. I'm not sure if it's racist so I kind of want to get rid of it anyway.

SEEKING – Large Breasted Woman

Man seeking woman with 32-34 DD bra sizes. Have you tried Jet Moto 2 dude? If you and your breasts meet the qualifications he's looking to film some personal erotic videos with you.  Don't worry though he won't show anybody. Bonus, he is willing to pay you up to $400! Ladies, please be safe.

FREE – Sodium Chloride

Do you have a wound that needs cleaning but are short on supplies? What about 100 wounds? Do you operate a third world field hospital? I seriously don't know what else you would do with liquid Sodium Chloride. If you like salty eggs you could try poaching one in this. Not sure what would happen though. That might make you sick.

FOR SALE – Typewriter

I know from Pawn Stars that people collect these. Cool people. Like Tom Hanks and my brother's girlfriend, Katy. She lives in Park Slope. The seller is also offering a sweet ring. I think it's beautiful. I have giant, hairy, ugly hands so rings aren't a good look for me. If you're interested in a broken typewriter and a cool ring though shoot this person an e-mail.

FREE – Egg Yolks

It's bulking season bro but if you aren't tough enough to drink egg yolks than you can always make mayonnaise with this. Lots and lots of mayonnaise. Send some to us here at FIPS. We can't get enough of the stuff.