Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FEAR: Plague of Rats

Yo, do you live near the 7th Avenue B/Q station? Have you noticed people being overtaken by waves of rats? This poster wants to get together a neighborhood rat watch. You'll have to bring your own bat with a chain wrapped around it. Also last summer I wrote something about rats in Park Slope and somebody flamed me in the comments that there aren’t any. “Not in my perfect neighborhood, buster!” So I’d like to extend a hearty fuck you to that person. Hope these monster rats eat all your cereal.

RIDE SHARE: Wagons west!

This poster isn't going to ride with you. But if you have space in your U-Haul heading west, they'd sure like to get their stuff up in that. They'll chip in on gas if you are willing to stop in Montana. Montana is not on the way to California. Looking at a map I don't even think you'd drive through it to get to Washington. 

COMMUNITY: Learn how to ride a bike

If my life depended on it I could ride a bike. Not very well and I might need somebody to push me a bit first but I think I could do it. So there is some shame to be felt when I see all the fine people of Brooklyn riding around. I know I’m not alone though. This poster will teach you how to ride a bike. Don’t live in fear anymore.

FREE: Toilet

Toilets are funny. I mean as in toilet humor. I like toilet humor. However, toilet art? I don't know. That's not really working for me. If it's your thing then hit up this poster for a free shitter. Just don't turn it into a garden. That's so been done a million times. 

Missed Connections: Before Sunset Park

This takes place near the Costco in Sunset Park. What’s written within is so touching  I’m just going to include the whole post. Call a loved one over, hold them close and share in these beautiful words of passion.

“The door was slightly open in the back room and I was watching you Jo your nice cock. I wanted to come in to watch closer but had to be somewhere.” 

MISSED CONNECTION: Cat Connection

Cats. So tired of hearing about cats. These two connected while petting stray alley cats. I wish we hadn’t used almost the entire lyrics for Stray Cut Strut awhile back. These cats are dirty. It’s a shitty thing to say, but I probably wouldn’t pet them. Our poster clammed up and ran away from Mike, the dude she was talking to. That’s also kind of shitty. Hope they can met again and get their hands filthy.

MISSED CONNECTION: I’ve seen those finger paintings you bring home and they suck!

The story for this is weird and confusing but here is what I gather. Man is drawing something, it looks fucking terrible, and he is sobbing heavily. A woman approaches him and hugs him. He is grateful. I guess the weird part for me is the picture. He includes it in the post and it looks like it was drawn by a child. And it’s a marriage proposal.