Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

MISSED CONNECTIONS:  Angry message in a bottle

This guy got dumped and he's pissed. It's better than being really sad over it I guess. It sucks getting all mopey and shit like Droopy Dog. I don’t like the use of the C-word though. He admits to knowing what she was like before they dated and that he planned on changing her. There is a lesson in that.

CASUAL ENCOUNTERS: Frustrated Swingers

These crazy kids got married awhile ago and as their wedded bliss fades they are looking for excitement. Cruises aren't doing it. Dressing up in costumes isn't doing it. They're looking for another couple to bang it out with. So I guess they're hoping doing it will do it.

MISC ROMANCE: Looking for love in the wrong places

This man is looking for transsexual partner. That's not what I mean by wrong places though. Check your prejudice at the door. I just think, I don't know, what he wrote is kind of sweet. And he'd have better luck on a real dating site. There is a stigma attached to online dating but it's not like the alternative option is in person. He's going through Craigslist. That's way weirder than online dating.

WANTED: Keyboard player

I was only able to listen to 13 seconds of the band's music because I am too fucking hungover right now. Sounded legit though. They're a psychedelic jam band and they need somebody to tickle the ivories. Is it still called that if it's a keyboard? I don't know. God, why didn't I drink more water last night? I'm so dumb. Ugh. If you have a ponytail this job is probably yours for the taking. 

PUPPIES: French bulldog meetup

Oh boy. This is amazing. I don't want to overstate it but…life in Brooklyn can be hard. Rent is so high, dating is confusing, roommates can ruin you, and you don't feel like you belong because you never learned how to ride a bicycle and can't grow a sweet beard. Almost every day is a struggle. Except today. Today was worth living because of these sweet puppies. A world where these little guys get together bi-weekly and just hang out doesn't seem so bad anymore.

GROUPS: Book club

Monthly book club in South Slope. Must like wine and fine desserts. I was going to make fun of this but these books seem pretty interesting and I'm probably going to buy them now. I'm still not going to the meetings. It's nice to talk to people about things you read, but I'd rather put a gun in my mouth than tiramisu. 

CLASS: Improv

I recently found out how much classes at UCB cost and holy shit it's a lot of money, guys. Spark Slope is charging $25. It's not going to get you to Saturday Night Live but it might open you up. It can make you a more confident public speaker and most of us can use that in our social lives or at work.