Osama and Obama: What Color Is Our Threat Level Now?

I was on the brink of calling it a day last night when @gavinpurcell of all people tweeted the breaking news of Osama Bin Laden's impending demise.

The tweetathon ensued: waiting or, in my husband's case, snoring on the couch while I endured David Gregory and Wolf Blitzer blathering on for an hour in anticipation of the official presidential long-form death certification. I can't tell you how relieved I was when Brian Williams took over.

My favorite was some guy who actually admitted that he received the news from Kim Kardashian.

People took to the streets to celebrate. Who knows, maybe they were extra elated at our awesome new banner. Not sure if they gathered at GAP because it was all I could do to keep my eyes open through Obama (Love you, Mr. President!!!).

crowds gather at Ground Zero IMAGE VIA GOTHAMIST

So, here's the thing: I'm not feeling as irrationally exuberant as all of these dumbasses above. In fact, there is no way, no how anybody I love is going to get near the Brookyn Bridge anytime soon (and by that I mean the next ten years). Also, I'm officially scared shitless of riding the subway. 

Some guy from San Fran tweeted "Terrorism is OVER. Threat level: Rainbow!"  

And all the Sabbath Gasbags and my BFF on her facebook page were going on about sea changes and new eras and an ending to this chapter of global terrorism. All I was thinking: AYFKMWTS?

The responses to the rainbow threat level tweet echoed mine: "hardly," "you're joking, right?," "that's the stupidest tweet ever," and "double rainbow all the way."

So, while I'm glad that that fuckhead is dead, I'm not feeling any safer this morning. How bout you?