[OPINION] Marty Markowitz Is A Douchebag

I'm sorry ppl: this dude is just a gigantic douchebag.

Apparently the writer of the Brooklyn Spoke blog thought it was inappropriate for our Borough Prez to feature a goddamned pole dancer during his state-of-the-borough speech last week and so he wrote  Markowitz a letter to express his concern.

Personally, I thought the letter was well written, respectful and referenced the writer's concern for the message  this sent to our young girls. And as a father, I thought he actually had a fucking point. He ended with this: "I think you owe women and girls, who make up half of your constituency, an apology."

Three days later, he got the following response from our esteemed Borough Prez:

From: Markowitz, Marty

Mon, Feb 7, 2011 at 2:26 PM

Are you serious?????? First, there were no young girls present and
secondly, this guest did nothing lewd…she runs a business that is all
about exercise for men and woman…..this was not about sex
dancing….every year in my annual Borough speech I present bonafide
Brooklyn characters…and unique Brooklynites doing unique
things……that’s all there is to it…..marty

AYFKMWTS!?

Look, as we all know, I curse like a sailor, bitch and moan about everyone and everything, and generally just act like an asshole. But EVEN I would never consider sending such a dick-tastical note back to someone. Especially to a voting member of my motherfucking district!?

Whether or not you agree with this dude's point of view, he took the time out of his day to reach out and respectfully share his thoughts and opinions with you. While you could certainly tell he was frustrated, he sent a measured, well thought out note. And then Marty belittles and deameans him with his ARE YOU SERIOUS line, followed by not one, not two, not three, but SIX EXCLAMATION POINTS!?

Let's break this shit down line by motherfucking line.

Are you serious??????

You wanna know how that reads to me? Like this: ARE YOU THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PERSON TO EVER WALK THE EARTH?? YOU ARE. I CAN TELL YOU ARE BY YOUR RETARDED FUCKING NOTE. THE FACT THAT I JUST WASTED 3 MINUTES OF MY LIFE READING IT MAKES ME WANNA PUNCH YOU AND PUNCH YOUR DAUGHTER. Also, I'm not going to bother respectfully addressing you by your name, or sir, or any of that bullshit, because you are stupid. FUCK YOU.

First, there were no young girls present and secondly, this guest did nothing lewd…

Here's what the bike dude said in his note:

As a father of a young daughter, I watched your State of the Borough speech with mild disgust.  Even though you were promoting a local business, to feature a woman pole dancing on stage during your presentation — at a public high school, no less — was crude and in
poor taste.

Uhm, no one said that there were young girls THERE...he said it was in poor taste. And even though there weren't any young girls there, you were conducting this whole bitch in a HIGH SCHOOL! Please see the Miley Cyrus pole dancing vid from the Teen Choice Awards in 2009 for reference. People don't like that shit.

she runs a business that is all about exercise for men and woman…..this was not about sex dancing….

Translation: you don't give a shit about local businesses like I give a shit about local businesses. And just because I happen to feature a local businesswoman who is sort of a stripper, that's no reason to get all uppity. Again, you are stupid.

every year in my annual Borough speech I present bonafide Brooklyn characters…and unique Brooklynites doing unique things……

First of all, wtf is with all of the ellipses!? I mean, I know that that's probably my most overused device, but homeboy needs to RE-LAX. Second of all, what does this have ANYTHING to do with what the concerned dude dad is saying?? The dude did not mention you riding in like a moron on your tricycle, or Mr. Universe or all the other circus-like bullshit that went down--all he was talkin about was the pole dancing.

that’s all there is to it…..marty

Here's how I read that line: IN CASE I HAVEN'T MADE IT CLEAR ALREADY: 1. I THINK YOU'RE A MORON. 2. YOU NEED TO MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS AND STFU UP. 3. DON'T EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN. 4. JUST SO I'M CLEAR, YOU'RE VERY FUCKING STUPID. 5. I DON'T EVEN APPRECIATE THAT YOU TOOK OUT THE TIME TO REACH OUT TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST SO DUMB.

Is this real life?

Just me? What do you guys think?