OPEN POST: Anthony Weiner Is From Park Slope

Honestly, ppl I just can't.

I CANNOT.

This whole Anthony Weiner weinergate is too much for me to handle (I trust we're all caught up? Rep Weiner sent dick pics and more over Twitter, FB and more to a gaggle of hussies, denied it all, and then tearfully accepted responsibility yesterday).

I do, however, have 3 things to say:

1. Does something happen to your brain, like chemically, when you get into elected office that you somehow think doing the STUPIDEST FUCKING THINGS ON THE PLANET are all the sudden good ideas? And that you'll never get caught? It must, because every politician everywhere suffers from this same ailment. I'm waiting for news to break that Hillary Clinton is keeping an Asian sex slave in her basement or some shit.

2. Remember back in the day when politicians could just have regular old affairs? JFK could fly out to CA, fuck Marilyn Monroe in a hotel and then come back to the White House and be done with her? Man, with Twitter, Foursquare, Flickr, Facebook, Path, Gowalla, and the motherfucking internet, NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO KEEP A SECRET EVER EVER EVER AGAIN. Give up the dream, ppl. If you are having an affair with a Hooters waitress in Duluth, now is the time to come the hell clean.

3. Anthony Weiner is from Park Slope.

Your turn.