Off Leashed In Prospect Park
Everyone meet Charlotte. Charlotte meet everyone. She just moved here to Park Slope and BREAKING: there's some weird shit that goes in here.
Me: "What kind of dog do you have?"
Pancake MIx's Owner: "Oh Mrs. Pancake Mix is part Ridgeback part Chihuahua, part pit bull with an extra shot of espresso and a soy topper."
Me: "Wait is that a dog or a pretentious order at the Tea Lounge?"
PMO: "She's a rescue, we found her amongst some thugs whilst they were buying her during a drug exchange/dog exchange in Bed Stuy...we just so happened to be campaigning for decent recycling at inner city schools...i see your dog is full ridgeback, was she bred?"
Me: Yep...wanna fight about it? By the way, the part of Mrs Pancake that's a pit bull is currently trying to eat my ridgie's face off.
Off-leash hours are full of yummy cliques that remind you that you never graduated from high school, and that hipsterism isn't just meant for those with trust funds wearing skinny jeans and listening to some obscure band in an obscure lounge. 50-year-old women and men still clique up to identify themselves with some sort of significance right here in our baby bjorn clad neighborhood.
You have the old tarts sitting on the bench criticizing everything every owner of every dog does while their dogs attempt to kill passing puppies over a chew toy. You have the Dog walkers, who operate more like a strange cult with all their weird clapping and yelling of strange things. You have the labradoodle crew who dress their dogs in the latest fashions and say things like "I would not let my dog sniff another dog's butt it's just gross...wanna go to the Hamptons next weekend let's all go to the Hamptons."
Basically whether you have muts, huskies, mastives, labs (chocolate or golden) whether you are a couple, single, young, old, gay, straight or undecided...you can find a group of dog owners willing to listen to you bitch about other dog owners and nod where appropriate.
If you are wondering which group I belong to, you can almost always find me walking alone. Or fine: sometimes with another young lady who also finds the social constructs of the dog park to be daunting. Usually we hang with the other BRED Ridgebacks talking about how wonderful Ridgebacks are, while everyone stares in awe at how fast our dogs run **licks out toungue** suckerrrrrsssss!
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