Marty, Medians & Magic 8 Balls

Like a bad rash that just keeps getting worse, the PPW bike lane has once again reared its ugly, itchy head. And as per usual, it's coming out of Borough President Marty Markowitz's ass. A few nights ago a FIPS reader by the name of Anne saw our portly politician dining out Slopeside. She struck up a conversation with him about none other than, you guessed it, the PPW bike lanes.

According to Anne, Marty doesn't "hate bike lanes" (coulda' fooled me). No, he just "hates the one on the PPW." What's his latest resolution to this white hot hate? Put up a cement median along the side of road where the cars park.

Do you hear that? That's the sound of NBBL collectively shitting themselves. Super smart, Marty. Make the PPW look like the Gowanus Expressway. Mrs. Schumer's going to love that. As Anne so aptly pointed out:

"So now, when you park your car, you can trip over a cement barrier and then get run over by a biker.  Sounds like a fine plan to me.  Not."

You go, Anne! And I'm going to go to the Magic 8 Ball on this sucker, cause you know bitch has something to say about this.

Magic 8 Ball, remember Marty Markowitz?

M8B: Most likely.

Do you think Marty is doing this so he can crud up the street enough so everyone will hate said bike lanes?

M8B: It is decidedly so.

Clearly. Will it work? 

M8B: Reply hazy. Try again.

Interesting. Well we'll see about that. Just curious: Will Marty run for mayor now that Weiner has pulled out of office?

M8B: Most likely.

Will you vote for him?

M8B: Outlook not so good.

Well you're not a registered voter in this city anyway.

LASTLY: the night after our FIP'ster had her chat with Marty, this post went up on Streetblogs. Community Board 6, who now spends a bunch of time concerning itself with bike land bullshit (and the new Whole Foods), is calling people to sound off on the aforementioned medians tonight at 6:30 at the Old First Reformed Church. Be there or be somewhere else entirely.