Marty Markowitz Gives All of Brooklyn Credit for Park Slope's Lesbian Population

This week, lame duck Borough President and biggest BK booster since Walt Whitman, Marty Markowitz, pronounced on the Brian Lehrer show that Brooklyn “…remain[s] the lesbian capital of New York City and the Northeast. In other words, we have a much larger lesbian population in Brooklyn. New York City is fortunate to have a large LGBT community, but in Brooklyn in particular, the lesbian community, there’s no question it’s the capital of the Northeast.”

“There’s no question,” eh, Marty? Big talk! You already have the wise and mustachioed John Hodgman on your case over this lofty claim. (paraphrasing Mr. Hodgman, but, “Hello! Uh, Northampton?”)

Marty, I think you’re pushing it. Maybe extending your lesbian-embracing reach a little far? Are you  seriously claiming that non-Park Slope-adjacent Brooklyn neighborhoods like Canarsie or Marine Park are as rich in Sapphic resources as “Dyke Slope” is? Park Slope has long been known as a place where lesbians run free and wild, holding hands and sporting wallet chains and trucker caps, (before all those hipsters in WilliamsyStraightburg did, I might add). Maybe it’s not as noticeable today, what with all the babies in bars and double-wide strollers to bitch about. But being a hotbed of girl-on-girl love is our thing, Marty.

As our outgoing Booster/Boaster-in-Chief, you need to hear some hard truths before you leave public service and re-enter Brooklyn as a civilian: you’re generalizing the personality of Brooklyn, Marty, the way a Manhattanite would. It's like you've only ever been to Park Slope, and have concluded that the rest of Brooklyn is exactly the same. You’re using Brooklyn-the-Brand too broadly, making "Brooklyn" too all-encompassing. One of Brooklyn’s great – and true – claims to fame is that it’s a borough of neighborhoods. And here in Park Slope, we’re protective of our reputation as being the dykiest in the borough. Let us have that; the New York Times Style Section has taken everything else from us.

Marty didn't mention* the sad news that Park Slope’s most high-profile [former] lesbian and First Lady of New York City-elect is moving to Gracie Mansion and taking her [former] lesbian cred with her. We're sorry to see her go, but we'll still be Dyke Slope.

*Okay, he might have, but we didn't listen to the whole interview to find out. We seriously doubt it, though.