Magic: The Gathering World Champ Dissed By Park Slope Blogger

I'm going to start this out with a quote and work backwards:

Google the shit out of your next online date. Like, hardcore. Also, for all you world famous nerds out there: Don’t go after two Gawker Media employees and not expect to have a post written about you. We live for this kind of stuff.

Oh boy! The above was written by fellow Park Slope blogger, Alyssa Bereznak, who writes for Park Slope Patch. Because of this, I felt a slight duty to be kinda' nice. But then I remembered the FiPS mantra -- rant, whine, bitch, moan -- and realized there has to be a few slaps thrown about. Because of Alyssa Bereznak, Australians are even talking about what douche bags people in Park Slope are. 

Let me set this puppy up. Picture it, ladies (and gentlemen): You sign up for an online dating service. You create a profile and start meeting people. Some people are batshit right from the start. This is to be expected.  You go on a date with a couple of them. Some turn out to be fairly nice but not quite right for you, others are socially unacceptable. I'm pretty sure this isn't outside the norm of online dating.

Is it nice to then write a whiney, self-aggrandizing blog post about it that pokes fun of a whole subset of people to make yourself feel better? HELLS NO. 

I'm pretty sure Ms. Bereznak, who admitted she needed to get drunk to even make an online dating profile, was looking for sympathy and a good laugh when she met a perfectly nice gentleman who happened to be a world champion of Magic: The Gathering, and wrote a tell-all post about their meeting. She heavily criticized him for hiding his SHAMEFUL championship secret. Except he came out and told her... over dinner... on their first date. She says, of their encounter:

You’ll think you’ve found a normal bearded guy with a job, only to end up sharing goat cheese with a world champion of nerds. Maybe I’m an OKCupid arsehole for calling it that way. Maybe I’m shallow for not being able to see past his world title.

The fact that you write "Maybe I'm an asshole," and "Maybe I'm shallow" are two blaring signs that even you realize how fucking stupid the post is. Can I throw a reality check your way Ms. B?

1. Bearded men (of which I am one) are GOING TO HAVE QUIRKS. So if that's your type, get ready. It's what makes us special.

2. Why would you have to see past a world title in anything? World titles = accomplishment. Is he a little left of center for his devotion to Magic? Sure.  But maybe that makes him interesting, which is in short supply in some Brooklynites these days.  You are a Food Coop member who would appear to have a devotion to cheese, as mentioned it in your Patch profile. Should I pigeon-hole you as something because of it? I won't, but I could.

3. An anonymous lady friend of mine had this to say about your story:

She is stupid and shallow. My boyfriend is a magician, and you know what? He's hot as fucking hell and is one of the most interesting people I've ever met.

4. Ms. B, you said he lied to you, but nowhere in your post did you mention what he actually put on his profile. Just because he didn't plaster "Magic: World Champ"  all over a dating site doesn't mean he was hiding it from you. 

5. Lastly, I'm pretty sure the next time you find a potential online date who "Googles the shit out of you" and finds your blabby post, he will probably think twice about going on that date. Just sayin.'

Also, be sure to check out an Australian lady blogger's retort to Bereznak's post here. It's HOTT!!