Let The Pavilion Movie Theater Hate Parade Rip

photo via Sugarpond on FlickrHonestly, I think we need to do a Pavilion undercover vid at this point. I mean, I have literally never in my life come across such raw, unadulturated hatred for a single lil ole movie theater before. We've said it before and we'll say it again: The Pavilion is the MOST hated movie theater in all of NYC.

Apparently the recent revulsion over their germ-infested, broken ass, purple seats is causing all y'all to get even more hot-n-bothered under the collar over the joint. Cause I received not one, but two separate emails yesterday from two very disgrustled FIPS readers who both seem to wish nothing but death and destruction upon The Pav.

Disgruntled FIPS reader numero uno:

I was just in this shit hole the other day, watching a shit hole movie called Tron - what a pile of crap that was, but i digress, it's the theater we are shitting on, correct?

So I took my inlaws and my wife to the theater and noticed that there were signs in the window saying: "Theaters 2 (?) and 4 (?) do not have adequate heat", uh....the blizzard of 2010 was yesterday, "if you are not satisfied within the first 20 minutes of your show we will refund your money" - although I may not know exactly what theaters they were talking about, there was no mention of Tron - I am sure of that because upon walking into the movie I took off my jacket, scarf, hat and gloves because it was so toasty.
About 45 minutes or so into the show (you really lose track of time because this movie is a zen-lover-lefty-hug-yourself-bundle of shite), I noticed it was getting cold. So i just threw on my scarf and thought nothing of it, 5 minutes later on went the hat, another 10 and the coat - finally the gloves and I wrapped myself up in my own arms the last 30 minutes because I just HAD to know where and when this sack of puss of a movie was going to deliver... Well, the movie did deliver, it delivered a head-cold to me from sitting on a virtual block of ice for over 2 hours.

Btw - the seat next to me looked like it was run over by the terminator in an oil truck.

Also, another truth - I am thinking of going to see the Fighter there tonight as I will not go to the Court Street movie theater as those people don't know that answering cell phones is one thing, but making calls from your seat is just fucking stupid! How ignorant can people be?

Uhm, people at the Court Street movie theater can be THIS ignorant.

Disgruntled FIPS reader numero dos:

Ok, we all know about online ticketing and how easy it is - you simply go online to your favorite movie ticket website, plug in the name of the movie and your zip code and presto, you are able to buy as many tickets as you want. All for only $1 extra for the time and effort they save. Then, instead of standing in those crazy ticket lines at the box office, you simply walk up to a ticketing machine, slide your credit card through and presto! tickets start popping out. You take the tickets and hand them to the nice looking theater attendant and either buy some popcorn or go directly to your seat, not first without glancing at the poor suckers waiting in the cold for a chance to even buy a ticket.

But folks, doesn't that seem like it's a bit too easy?

Well, for all of you who answered yes, there's The Park Slope Pavillion Crap Shack and Petrified Popcorn Jamboree, where online ticketing is waaaaaay more frustrating than waiting for the R Train at 4pm.

Now don't worry, you can still go online and purchase your tickets just like everyone else did, you can even pay an extra dollar just like everyone else does, but, instead of going to a machine and printing out your tickets so you can casually ease into your movie - hmph, ease is for wussies NOT from Park Slope - you are told to wait in line outside like everyone else so you can pick your tickets up at the ticketing window!
Yes, folks, you can stand outside with the rest of the losers who don't have internet connection on their wans, lans, cell phones and embedded chips and you can wait in a 2-hr line just to pick up your tickets (don't forget, you thought you were picking up at a machine so you waited until 15 minutes before the show to arrive).

On top of that you can feel proud that not only did you waste all that time in line but you also had to pay that extra friggin dollar for the convenience! Bravo Park Slope Pavillion - you put the "hole" in Asshole!
Oh, and the bad popcorn, shitty service, over priced sugared up and watered down drinks AND broken heaters come absolutely free of charge! Hoo-rah Park Slope - you are some lucky rich white people!

Needless to say, I can relate. I've been avoiding the Pavilion since the OG bedbug rumors started way back when. And since I'm obvies also never stepping foot inside the Court Street movie theater again, my remaining movie theater options consist of BAM or ridin my ass into the city to go to my fave NYC movie theater, Battery Park!.

Anyway, yeah: you're not *really* a true Park Sloper until you can get your Pavilion hate parade on...so have at it folks!