Is Brooklyn big enough for Kim Kardashian's giant, glitter-lovin' ass?

 

 "I don't like big balls on a dog." - Kim Kardashian

American Socialite and graceful keg sucker Kim Kardashian is engaged -- Eek! -- to a basketball player slated to play for the (soon to be) Brooklyn Nets. Eek!! And they may move to Brooklyn. Eeeeeekkkkk!!!! 

Via the NYT:

Brooklyn will pretend not to care but it will. It's easy to be aloof when Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift invade Gorilla Coffee. But Kim Kardashian demands attention. She will not go shopping unnoticed in Fulton Mall or slip quietly into Prime Meats for steak frites and a gab with the Franks. The Brooklyn Paper, Gothamist, and n + 1 will hire Kardshian correspondents. Cat Greenleaf of "Talk Stoop" will clear out space on her steps for a Kimterview.

I'm more concerned about the glitter. Between the 20.5-carat diamond and the glittery, mini horses at their engagement celebration -- those poor, POOR horses -- we’re all going to be blinded by the massive amount of cheesy sparkle this woman is going to bring into our hood. And what about if/when they start reproducing? The glitter will be all over everything. Forever. As comedian Demetri Martin would say, glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Yeah, Kim Kardashian. You just think about that for a minute.