HAS THE NEW YORKER REJECTED YOU? READ ON.

Remember when you submitted that SUPER WITTY piece of prose to The New Yorker? And a few months later you got a response in the mail and had a 30 second celebratory dance party in your kitchen? But then the letter's all like, "Settle down, pal. It was not without its charms, but mostly it sucked ass" (I'm paraphrasing here). 

Then you got weepy and maybe listened to Dust in the Wind while stashing the rejection letter into your Sad Drawer? 

Well now's your chance to resurrect that dejected piece of work! Someone wants your cast off piece of literary failure! Because chances are, it probably doesn't suck THAT MUCH.

The New Yorker Reject series, which will be held at Halyards in Gowanus at a date TBD, is seeking rejected submissions to be read aloud by actors (I hear this and imagine James Franco and Paul Dano reading something like, "An Insipid Conversation Between Two Meercats" or whatever). In addition, your work could be published in their biannual edition! 

Email your rejected PDF's to beth.halyards@gmail.com with the subject line, "My New Yorker Reject Is Attached." 

Here's the catch though for all of you Sedaris and Vowell-y types --- The series is only calling for FICTION at the moment. So what about the writers who live in a bubble of oblivion and can only be bothered to write about themselves (like moi)? Or those who have been rejected by NOT ONLY The New Yorker but ALSO McSweeney’s AND This American Life (like moi)? You guys feel free to email them to me and we can start a pity party at Tea Lounge or something.

If I hear any more deets about when this show might go down I’ll post a follow-up in the comments section. In the meantime, START SUBMITTING!