FYI: The Richard Meier Building On Prospect Park = Totally Lame

I gaze out at this smooth, glass, monstrosity on a daily basis, and true confessions: I had always envisioned that the luxuriousness one would encounter upon entering the Richard Meier building On Prospect Park would leave an indelible mark on my soul that could never be erased (without, of course, the purchase of my own multi-million dollar 2bdr BALLER pad, with a terrace and my own parking spot for the car I don't yet have).

Well, I looked behind the curtain last night and went IN to the building to see the place first hand. And, needless to say, my soul didn't really give a shit.

Ok, first the good: the location rocks, the staff is lovely and insanely helpful, and if you don't yet have a Kindle, the main branch of the Brooklyn Public Library is RIGHT. NEXT. DOOR.

I did get a bit of a lady hard-on from the floor to ceiling glass windows, but really, everything else in that joint was pretty unremarkable. In fact, the only things that stood out to me, were all the dumb things about the place, rather than anything show stopping or drool-worthy (NOTE: I was in a 4 Bedroom apartment--on the 3rd floor, I think--with views looking out toward Grand Army Plaza):

• The apt was laid out like a reverse railroad (in a straight horizontal line, instead of a vertical line). HATED that. I don't know anyone who specifically likes a railroad layout for an apt, so who the fuck wants to pay a few millies for a REVERSE RAILROAD? (A. apparently no one since the apt is still empty).
• There was a HUGE column smack dab in the middle of the Master Bedroom. Like so huge, I'm not even sure how you would get a bed in there? True, I have no idea wtf load bearing walls-n-shit actually means, but Jeez, people: you've GOT to get the architects, builders AND Interior Designers in a room together before this shit goes up to ensure that stuff like that doesn't happen. Again, if I'm gonna be dropping MILLIONS of Benjis on my apt, duh, I wanna get a Cal King straight up in that mofo....and it ain't gonna fit.
• Gag me...if I see one more leaded glass peekaboo shower wall, I'm so gonna barf. This isn't 9 1/2 Weeks, for christ's sake--It's my fucking bathroom. And this trend is soooo tired, and soooo not sexy.
• Speaking of bathrooms, the master bath seemed more institutional than it did luxe to me (minus the tub).
• I did not see the 4th bedroom as it was allllll the way on the other side of the apt, but the 2nd and 3rd bedrooms were a nice size lengthwise, but oddly narrow.
• I dug the ceiling height closet doors, but I did not notice any sort of tricked out interior closet customizations? (I don't know, do people do this themselves?). It always seemed like a fairly inexpensive way to make a meh apt seem a bit more sparkly and shiny to me, so I always expect to open a closet door and gasp in these new shmancy buildings.
• The details just weren't there for me. I didn't notice any gorgeous interior fittings, any really beautiful door knobs, killer faucets, or really anything else that screamed: I JUST PAID 4 MILLION DOLLARS FOR THIS APARTMENT!

The kitchen looked kinda cool, though I didn't get a close look because the wine/food peeps had totally taken it over. It was basically one of those all white numbers where you can't quite tell what's a cabinet or what's a refrigerator because everything is just white lacquer and looks the same.

I also didn't get a look at the other side of the apt at all (which I assume had one more bedroom and bath), and I saw none of the amenities that the building has to offer (roof deck, billiards room, children's playroom etc), so those all might've rocked. Though, upon doing a bit of research on the website, I found out that the "30,000sf health club" that the very nice On Prospect Park representative told us about is *actually* the Eastern Athletics Club next door. So if you're cool with slipping out of your Richard Meier ap-ahhht-ment and slumming it with the DILFS of the nabe, or the old ladies who join up to do laps in the pool there, then you'll love it. If not, oh wellsies.

I will say that it seems like the prices have come waaaay down, which does, of course, make things slightly more palatable. We got a goodie bag with some obvs old literature in it that had 1 bedrooms starting at $950k. Lo and behold, I found this listing for a 1bdr in contract for $684k. But the closest I could find after that was this 1bdr for $883k, so who knows.

Anyway.

Yeah...big letdown.