Five Ways to Dress like A Park Slope Mom

Image via gretchenscloset.comIt's no secret that New York City is a fashion capital. And while Manhattan would win the boroughs' best dressed award, Brooklyn is a close second with its overabundance of designers, boutiques, trendsetters and those annoying bloggers. Park Slope is no exception. Our humble neighborhood, once known for housing unwashed hippies dressed in Danskos and tie dye shirts, has been contaminated by sartorial expectations. Children bound up 5th avenue in ruffled Crew Cuts cardigans and Park Slope mothers chase after them in their own shabby chic booties and scarves. Want to get the scope on how to fit in with these new Park Slope mamas? 

1. Buy really obscure, expensive accessories that don't look particularly high-priced. In Park Slope, there are millionaires among us. You pass them by and you'd never know. In Brooklyn, millionaires want to live amongst the average people (until they invite you over for dinner and you tour their five story brownstone). Be it start-up CEOs or celebrities hiding behind sunglasses, the money in these pockets runs deep. But Park Slope Moms don't buy designer bags--that'd be too obvious. Instead they spend their money on fancy watches that no one can recognize or expensive sunglasses that look just slightly nicer than the $9 pairs at Beacon's. Understated opulence is key. Like, very understated. 

2. Get you some No. 6 clogs. This chunky footwear, available in boots and sandals scream Park Slope. They also scream, these cost at least $300. These bulky shoes are less ostentatious and less expensive than an Upper East Sider's Tod's, but they are still a quite a few notches up from Steve Madden or Nine West.

3.  Grow your hair out. Don't wash it. Pay a couple benjamins to have some stylish (probably in Manhattan--let's be real, we still go there to get our hair done) make your hair resemble grown-out highlights. Like, two years grown out.Try really hard to make it look like you didn't try at all.

4. Wear tiny geometric jewelry.  From A. Cheng or Verameat or Etsy. Shell out the big bucks for accessories so small, they are hardly noticeable to the human eye (nor to the sugar daddy who probably paid for that jewelry and is wondering how in the hell some tiny gold bands can cost so much). 

5.Walk with an air of competition. Competition and arrogance might sound like the nature of a Manhattan woman, but the things a Park Slope mom cares about are very different. PS moms brag about their child's ability to adapt to re-directive parenting, their emotional maturity, their personal choice to be a vegetarian at age 9. They will chat about how their husbands or partners are sure to do half the housework in order to live out their egalitarian marriage or how cage free your eggs are. Where Manhattan is competitive in jobs and looks, Brooklynites are competitive in how they live out of their idealism. This is as much a staple in any Park Slope's mom wardrobe as their "vintage" Brooklyn Nets tee.