[Fips was there...] Bacon Takedown Takes Down My Arteries

via thetakedowns.com

We here at FIPS spend a hell of a lot of time out and about in Brooklyn, attending outdoor concerts, comedy shows and various other events. So [FIPS Was There...] is where we're gonna' talk about all this shit.

Hey guys, let's try an experiment. I'm going to say a word, and you try not to become aroused: "bacon." See! It's impossible. Even you vegans out there got a little drooly, didn't you? Last night, I partook of this most delicious of pig-derived staples at the Third Annual Brooklyn Bacon Takedown, a competition amongst the creations of 20 local chefs that bathed the Bell House in the tears of all Park Slope's vegetarians and most of greater Brooklyn's observant Jews. 

And, oh my, the bacon. I'm currently more stuffed with it than a Congressional appropriations bill (OK, I'll stop with the bacon jokes. No, I won't. There's more pig inside my belly than the precinct headquarters on donut day. Too far? I agree). Upon entry, guests were greeted with some complimentary slabs of the salty stuff provided by representatives of Hormel, the corporate sponsors (I'll Occupy Wall Street AFTER I acknowledge that the money for big, fun events has to come from somewhere, thankyouverymuch). 

The chefs learn who is the bacon-est

Guests voted for winners, first through third, as did a panel of three judges, with provenance in the NY Food Film Festival, Edible Brooklyn and Edible New York, and past take-downs -- last year's winner judged this year's entries. But, first, my take:

In general, savory is safest. It's easier to make it work. The sweet treats studded with bacon all SOUNDED amazing, clever, and creative. But they didn't always land (IMHO). For instance, "Sloppy Elvis," a tiny PB&J in which bacon suffused both the PB and the J, was just way too meaty. On the other hand, when the sweet stuff DID succeed, boy did it ever. Bacon added just the right amount of salt and umami accents to a creamy, sticky fudge. I would totally eat that stuff until I barfed (when I become a famous restaurant critic, that's gonna be my catch phrase).

Coming in at one or two for my faves: "The Lipitor Express," a little heaven of a pie constructed from "burnt sugar spiced pecan with candied bacon brittle." The same chef paired that treat with a dash of "bacon, maple and Jack Daniels ice cream." These two got it just right, as far as the sweet side -- you want bacony accents, not meatiness. And the chewy and bold pecan-pie flavor held its own well against the flavorful bacon.

Spiced pecan and bacon. Um, it looked better in person.

On the savory side, I've gotta go with this little menage of decadence: pork belly steepedin duck fat confit for 8 hours, with flavors of pumpkin (I think) and some other awesome shit, along with bacon, o'course. Dear God, it was so rich, my tongue turned into a bratty, entitled Park Slope 5 year-old. As for the rest, there was awesomeness all around. The snack foods, like nuts and bacon and bacon popcorn, were mostly just all right. But simple could be great. One happy chef fed us her grandmother's German potato salad, and it was good, old-fashioned comfort food to my Midwestern belly.

As for the official results: The judges went for bacon S'mores at third place (which they ran out of before I could sample), something called Bacon on Bacon at #2, and agreed with me on the confit shit for #1. 

The audience judged it a bit differently, proving once again that democracy is messy and eats a lot of fatty foods. They nominated the "Tiny Tower of Breakast" for #3, a stack of tiny buttermilk pancake, quiche lorraine, camembert and brie, all beneath the starring bacon. A good dish, indeed, though kind of a lot going on for one bite. But I guess that was the point. At two, the masses had a "Blue Cheese Wedge Explosion," which sounds awesome (though blue cheese and bacon is a lot of flavour, guys), but I didn't get to try it. For first, they put "Nacho Bacon," a light and crispy treat atop a wonton chip -- and a worthy choice.

 The people's choice -- nacho bacon.

This bacon-off marked the last porky leg on a six-city tour for Takedown honcho Matt Timms, all underwritten by our benevolent corporate overlords at Hormel. The next Takedown in BK will stuff the Bell House with cauldrons of chili, which should be sometime in November. If you want to compete, just be in touch with Timms, through the Takedown website. You'll get donated materials, as did the baconaters, who worked with 15 lbs of the good stuff each (again, from Hormel.)