[FIPS Was There...] A Fitting Farewell to Jackie's 5th

A month ago we were supposed to cover something called the Buzzard's Banquet at Jackie's 5^th Amendment. It was going to be funny because it's a poetry reading at a bar that pretty famously tried to secede from Park Slope because the neighborhood was too sissy now.  I think it was tongue in cheek. That's how I read it.

So we missed it. I missed it. I got the dates wrong and didn't make the Buzzard's Banquet. Then Jackie's announced they were closing and it got a good amount of press. Whatever. Thursday night was the last Buzzard's Banquet at Jackie's and I made it.

They opened with a Bukowski poem which was amazing. Suicide Kid. After that, it was what you'd expect. Personal poetry. Brooklyn guy playing acoustic guitar. It was good if that's what you're into. I spent the night at the bar drinking nips. $10 for a bucket of 6. It's a pretty good deal. (Or was a pretty good deal depending on when you are reading this. Jackie's closes on September 14^th.) But, up to that point, the night was not much to write about.

Then something really weird happened, and my first thought was, "Well, this will make for an interesting post." But when I mentioned that to the people working there, and said that I was there for FIPS, they went kind of crazy. They don't love the site. They demanded I don't write about it. Told me I'm a bad person if I do.  One of them was kind enough to drop a half dozen f-bombs on me. Maybe they were right. Or drunk. I don't know. I think they were possibly wrong and definitely rude. One thing that stuck in my mind -- probably will for a long time -- was the bartender saying "Come on…you can't write about this. I mean it's called Jackie's FIFTH AMENDMENT. Fifth Amendment. Do you even know what that means?!"

Well, I do. It's your right to a fair trial. Which doesn't really apply to anything that happened. A writer sees something and he reports it. Nobody is on trial. We're telling a story with the truth. Just the facts ma'am. If we're looking for an amendment that fits the situation though I'd recommend the first one.  Maybe you haven't heard of it. It's the freedom of speech. 

Ultimately I'm not writing about it. This incident. This stupid non-event that absolutely nobody would give a shit about. This catalyst for me getting motherfucker-ed until I left the bar. Jackie's, we appreciate the emotional stress of your bar closing because of your owner retiring. Bummer. Maybe this writer was insensitive as well. If you feel misrepresented by direct quotes here on FIPS, maybe you shouldn't have said them in the first place. Soon enough you'll be the storage room of a drug store and I'll be coming in to get diarrhea medicine. Enjoy your last 3 weeks of existence, though.

Excerpt from The Suicide Kid, by Charles Bukowski

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed.

but all I could do was to get drunk again.

worse, the bar patrons even ended up liking me.

there I was trying to get pushed over the dark edge and I ended up with free drinks

while somewhere else some poor son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital bed,

tubes sticking out all over him as he fought like hell to live.