FIPS NOT SO BREAKING NEWS: Slopeside Kindergarten Cop Sequel in the Works

Remember this name: Pat Mannino. Cause if you're frontin' with a Park Slope address and you really live in like Sunset Park, this bitch is going to smoke you out. Big time! She's done it twice before and she's got plenty more room on her belt for a few more notches (that was not a fat dig, Pat, I swear). 

I'm not going to bore you with school numbers like 107 or 321 (cause honestly it just puts that old Ludicrious "I've Got Ho's" song on repeat play in my head) but my FIPS colleague Allison was right, Kindergeddon has begun and the venerable New York Post was the first to break the story that my girl, Pat is out to get the mofos who are doing asinine things like paying electric bills of strangers just go get access to a desirable Slope addresses. 

First, since we always get to interject our opinion here at FIPS, I say good for her. You want to send your kid to a Park Slope school, move to Park Slope. Even THAT doesn't guarantee entrance into our schools, but at least it's a start. And if you can't afford to live here, join the rest of us and quit your bitchy scheming. Maybe if you spent the kind of time and money you do into overcrowding high-performing schools with your kids, and put it into actually improving schools in other districts this wouldn't be a problem. 100%. (Stepping off soapbox now).

In what is sure to be a more riveting premise than Dog the Bounty Hunter, Pat Mannino and her band of not so merry moms (and possibly stay-at-home dads) are coming to make surprise visits to your "address" to make sure you actually live there.  On the list of things to see, the child's bedroom. Clever and creepy all wrapped up into one. What's not so clever, girls, is flashing your piece all over the New York Post so these douchebags have time to prepare for your "surprise" visit over the next couple of weeks. 

Come to think of it, I have an idea: Pat call up Arnold Schwarzenegger (cause what the hell is he doing now) and pitch what could be the best "reality" TV idea since the Queen of Jordan: you and Arnold and a bunch of PTA watchdog moms busting address fronters in the Slope. Give Arnold a ridiculously simple catch phrase like "I'm putting you in time out" as he sets a match to their name on the 107 waiting list and watch the sponsors roll in.