Everybody's Working For the Weekend ('Cept This Guy)

Two nights in a row I walked past the soon-to-be Petco on 7th ave and witnessed a worker passedthefuckout inside the store on a stack of metal ladders (which can NOT be good for the one's back/organs).

Now I don't want to get him in trouble by posting this, but before you all call me a huge sack of douche for even saying that consider this: He's sleeping OUT IN THE OPEN where every passerby strolling down 7th can watch him snooze! He's not exactly trying to hide it. And I'm not above slacking off -- I spent half my sophomore year of high school gorging on Funyuns and sleeping in the auditorium. But if you're going to take a catnap on the job you gotta' do it right: Prop a paper mâché replica of yourself (preferably in an "action" pose) where people can see it. For extra believability construct a series of marionette puppet-like strings that are attached to a ceiling mechanism that raises the arms/legs. As an added bonus play a looped recording of a series of grunts and sighs that would indicate one is hard at work. Then just grab a Snuggy and curl up in the back room where no one can see you! Easy peasy lemon queasy!  

OK OK, so the dude may be on break or maybe he's finished with his shift and just wants to catch a few uninterrupted Z's. Or perhaps Sleeping Beauty is running the whole oper-aysh and therefore can do whatever the fuck he wants. In that case shouldn't he at LEAST get a memory foam king-sized from Sleepy's or something? No? OK.