European Invasion: The Tourists Are Coming, The Tourists Are Coming

Lately, I can't get down the sidewalk, and it's not because of all of the big ass strollers around here...it's the statuesque blonde families speaking in foreign tongues.

Of all the infidels that have descended upon Brooklyn's shores, I've liked the European invaders the best. I mean if I had to choose between douchey derivatives traders and Germans, I vote for the Germans. 

But now I'm feeling a little bit used, a little bargain basement, if you want the truth. Are we really so cheap? Such a good deal? I don't know if I like this shit.

Seriously, though, is it my imagination or are there A LOT MORE foreigners citizens of the world taking up residence in Park Slope? Because never have I heard so many accents in this joint, and I don't mean Bensonhurst. I would say that my second grader's class at 321 is at least 50% recent emigres. What would you guess are the demographics here and if I wasn't too lazy could I actually find this out?

Just as I suspected, tourists too loved the shit out of us in 2010. Woohooo weak dollar! Per Mayor Bloomturd as some friend's kid has been calling him, NYC attracted a record-breaking 48.7 million camera-wielding visitors in 2010. And they are fearless: no scourge of bedbugs or inhospitable natives are going to keep them away.

And now, NOW, they're coming for us. Even Brad Lander is getting in the act: trying to make us more attractive to tourists.

Cut it the fuck out, Councilman Brad!

No, really, let's help Brad Lander come up with some good ideas for the next City Council Hearing.