DOLPHIN FUCKED, ER, STRANDED IN GOWANUS CANAL

photo via AP

UPDATE 6:20pm: 1010 Wins is reporting that the poor dolphin has died. Sadz faces all around.

Think you're having a shitty day? Think again, asshole. 

Cause you couldn't possibly be having a more shitty day than this poor, covered in sludge dolphin, that somehow took a wrong turn and ended up trapped in the gowanus fucking canal. 

"According to Riverhead Foundation, the dolphin was first spotted at the entrance of the waterway at 9:30 Friday morning by a citizen who phoned in the sighting.

Julika Wocial, Rescue Program Supervisor and Marine biologist for Riverhead Foundation, described the mammal as a common dolphin, adult, 6 to 7 feet long and weighing approximately 200 pounds."

Apparently the rescue efforts can't go down until high tide hits around 7:10pm tonight, so in the meantime scads of Brooklyn onlookers are gathered around the canal on the Union Street bridge, watching the poor dude swim back and forth in misery.

To make matters even worse, there have been reports that the dolphin's dorsal fin is bleeding.

Goddamit.

Freezing cold, a flu epidemic, new strain of the norovirus, and now a trapped dolphin. I'm off to go drink myself unconscious.

TGIF or whatever.

via Park Slope Patch 

P.S. @ninedaves is manning the FIPS Twitter feed right now, so if you wanna keep up with #gowanusdolphin, come on over.