BREEDER vs. BALLER: Who Needs To Borrow $25 For Their Park Slope Parents Membership Fees??

Each week we will attempt to bring you the unbiased, unedited points-of-view of a bonafide, ginuwine Park Slope Breeder (mom/dad) and a real deal, smokin, sexin, drinkin Park Slope Baller (child free-n-lovin it) on a variety of topics. Identities will remain anonymous, of course, to protect the soon-to-be lynched.

BALLER:

Just when I start to think that maybe Park Slope BREEDERS aren't all self-entitled, whiny, assholes, along comes something to remind me that I'm totally fucking wrong. Case in point: the Park Slope Parents recent decision to charge members a $25.yearly fee.

Based on the reaction to the announcement of this news (i.e. total fucking bedlam), one would think that the PSP was suggesting something OUTRAGEOUS, like selling bottled water at the Coop or protesting a ban on gay children's hats. People are p-i-s-s-e-d. They're screaming "discrimination!" and organizing protest rallies-n-shit.

A. I think its totally friggin hilarious. I love seeing the BREEDERS all fighting with each other and acting like moronic imbeciles.

B. What IS the problem here? I mean really?

You motherfuckers pay out the yin yang for every single solitary thing associated with your children. You pay for nannies, you pay for after school classes, you pay for designer clothes, you pay for over-the-top birthday parties, so what the fuck is the big deal for paying for parenting information?

Really, can ANYONE explain this to me? I mean, I guess I see your argument: sure there are lots of other places on the internet where information is free. And if you've never paid for this information before, it *does* kinda suck that you have to pay for it now. But, if you don't feel like its THAT valuable of a resource, don't pay and opt out. Finito.

I mean, sure that 26 page FAQ is a little over the top, but that's a totally separate fucking issue.

The confusing part for me is: aren't all you sons of bitches rich? And if you already prance all over town flaunting your kids like they're some sort of accessory, won't you want to fork over the benjis just to keep up with the Jones' (or the Goldsteins....or whomever)?

Shit, if its *that* big of a deal, I'll loan you the fucking cash....

BREEDER:

Here is the "fucking" problem, you endlessly classy wordsmith.

Twenty-five dollars for something that USED TO BE FREE is STILL a lot of money - especially if it's on the internet! Yes I have what some people would consider to be an "expensive" stroller, but again - it is not some kind of luxury - Park slope moms have to push these things with grocery bags, etc, up hills ALL DAY - and they get extremely heavy. I have a hurt shoulder and I need a stroller that absorbs some of the natural shock of the sidewalk friction. YES it costs a lot of money but we don't have a car and we are lucky enough to have parents who can help us out - so you know what? You bet your ass I'm going to take advantage of it when my health and my son's health are concerned.

I have an expensive stroller for HEALTH CONCERNS, but that is completely apples to oranges when talking about a Park Slope Parents membership fee. That is something that is ON the computer, it is not a product like a stroller or a burrito or something you can hold and should have to pay money for. For example, where computers are concerned, YES you pay for the actual computer itself and to rent the time warner hookup box, but after that do you PAY for stuff you do ON the computer? Do you PAY when you send email or check facebook? Exactly.

We are lucky enough to have microsoft word and excel and photoshop and firefox from a CD from my husband's work, and obviously no one pays for that stuff because it is SOFTWARE, not something you can hold like a california roll or a vibrator. Same question applies here: Why should I pay to get help from people in my community who are choosing to help me? Pay for email? It doesn't make sense - besides, can you hold the emails? It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard - and if you gave in to that, then they'd be charging for ALL email, not just Park Slope Parents, did you think of that? It starts here with this, really simply, but then where does it all end? We can't afford it.