BREEDER v. TEACHER: Enough Parent Participation, Already!

I love you teachers, but sometimes all this child-focused parent participation goes a step too far.

In another wrinkle of all this no child left behind crap: teachers have joined the hovercraft. 

I'm down with chaperoning the occasional field trip. I'll come to Freaky Family Friday, where kids routinely have THREE grownups in tow. I'll lay out your yearbook...and your student newspapers. I'll exchange emails, bake cookies, and yes: attend meetings.

But with the above survey from my kids' gym teacher (I mean PE teacher), I've finally reached capacity.

It was just the icing on the cake of a week of over-sharing with my children's teachers.

You want to do a heart of my kid? Love it! Let them pick up a crayon and draw a picture. Don't make me print out 100 family snapshots. I swear to you I have sent in at least that many over my second grader's short academic career.

My head is starting to itch from the latest mailing from PS. 321. What is it about the mere mention of head lice that has that effect? FYI, The Facts About Head Lice was all in kid-friendly terms, which makes it even more repugnant. "Head lice are small insects with six legs usually the size of a sesame seed (the seeds on burger buns)." Yeah, thanks. Say it to the beat: "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lice, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun."

And then there was the email from kid two's teacher, who is admittedly awesome but slightly guilt-inducing.

SCHNOOKUMS continues to have many successes throughout each day.  She is helpful and kind and finds many things she feels academically and socially invested in and proud of.  I've noticed her writing "I don't know (ED. NOTE: it was "i don't no," actually)," or "__ is too hard" on homework, and certainly don't want to create any homework stress... once she is given a little confidence and assurance, she is quite capable, she pushes through to become more interested, and then comes out with renewed confidence and pride that she is able to accomplish the task at hand.  Perhaps you've seen similar instances at home.  (ED. NOTE: get off the stick, mom)... I really want to keep SCHNOOKY'S confidence in her abilities on an upswing... Anything you can do to support her confidence on the home front would be appreciated. I'm not particularly concerned, but wanted to mention it as something we should keep a careful eye on, and stay in touch about. 

Fuck. Just when you think everything's going along.

So, concerned with my shitty homework oversight, I had to come in this week to discuss my littler's lack of reading endurance, which led to a discussion of her charming but overcooked attention-seeking ways and her deep, distracting love of the new french boy, which has led to her new interest in skinny jeans after six years of cross-dressing, and her yearning to be with him but he's in another class and, by the way, her interest in sitting and reading a book isn't too robust and she'd way rather be taking note of each and every happening going on around her because there is NOTHING that gets past her. AND, that story she's been telling about sitting alone in the lunch boxes and backpacks at recess? Pure BS.

I actually sat in a little chair at a little desk to have this surreal brainstorming session on how to right kid two's train before it goes off the rails and get her to take more initiative. Of course we also covered the need to get her looking inward to herself, BELIEVE in her ability to do the reading, not be self-defeating because "she has the knowledge, yea! to go to college, yea!" 

I keep thinking back with renewed fondness for bitchy Mrs. King and Mrs. Young, who just focused on Dick and Jane and didn't give MY parents shit for getting divorced and being sucky, self-involved twits.

As Schnook pointed out when she interrogated me about my teach-in, "She doesn't HAVE to give me attention if she doesn't want to. That's her deal."

Maybe we're not doing such a bad job after all.