Andray Blatche loves Brooklyn. Really, he does.

Soon to be former Brooklyn Net, Andray Blatche, gave our favorite borough the middle finger via Instagram on Saturday night. For the sake of accuracy/attorneys: He didn't literally post a middle finger; He literally posted "Fuck Brooklyn". The sentiment was quickly retracted and/or dismissed via a statement on Twitter, claiming that Blatche's Instagram account had been hacked. His explanation seems fully plausible to me. I have personally discovered myself to be the victim of social media hacking on countless occasions, upon sobering up.

While it could be inferred that Blatche may have been upset with the Brooklyn Nets due to the likely ouster of player favorite Head Coach Jason Kidd, or his own negotiations with the team, Brooklynites know that the real reason for his "Fuck Brooklyn" post is probably one of the following:

10. His kid is on the wait list for P.S. 321. For fuck's sake, it's almost July. Just take his phone call, Principal Phillips. Tell him that the dream is over.

9. The R train to Manhattan is never coming back and he knows it.

8. The F train is appropriately named.

7. The Pavilion Theatre is a shit hole. The man just wanted to see "Jersey Boys". Is that so much to ask?!!

6.  He nearly passed out from hypoglycemia waiting for a brunch table, but he was really craving the pan roasted Great Lakes Walleye Pike.

5. Like the rest of us, he just can’t afford this fucking neighborhood anymore.

4. He's sick of the toxic Prospect Park BBQ grill smoke. It’s a fact that toxic fumes may occur and cause death if charcoal is burned without adequate ventilation and he’s not going to idly sit by and suffocate in 585 Acres of open air.

3. Your baby is totes adorbs, but the kid is a first rate boner killer. Leave the bar and grab yourself a nice box of Pinot Grigio on the way HOME--- where generations of mommies have gotten lit at bedtime.

2. If Jonathan Safran Foer is getting divorced, how can Andray still believe in love?

1. He is finally an official member of the Park Slope Food Coop and Ramp season is fucking over!