A FiPS Guide To A Low Key Valentine's Day: For Couples

 Photo via mugsandpugs.wordpress.com

For some couples, Valentine's Day means a fancy dinner, ties and dresses, sparkly gifts and sweet treats encased in heart-shaped boxes. For others, there's just one simple goal: to not leave the house. For those of us who'd prefer to share a mild evening with our significant otras free from restaurant crowds (they give me hives), here's your FiPS Guide to a low key V-Day.

MAKE DINNER AT HOME

Fuck yeah, martini glass mashed potatoes!

What better way to bond with your sweetheart than to simultaneously maneuver a presumably small Brooklyn kitchen to create a great meal together! 

For an entree I recommend turning to the Southern Queen of Buttah, Miss Paula Deen, and her smokey apple cinnamon meatloaf (it's topped with slices of bacon -- meat on meat!). For the meal's required carb, whip up some mashed potatoes and serve them in a martini glass. Not only is this dish Liz Lemon-endorsed, you can make them look all fancy with colorful toppings, like shredded cheddar, sliced red peppers, chives and sour cream. And yes, you'll need a veggie. Stick with something simple, like honey glazed carrots or roasted brussel sprouts. For dessert, I love snacking on simple Chocolate covered orange slices. These go great with white wine or champagne. For something slightly more complicated, you can try Martha Stewart's heart-shaped meringues filled with passion fruit curd. 

PRINT OUT SOME KICK ASS VALENTINES

Breaking Bad Valentines!!! If you missed the boat on ordering a Jon Hamm telegram for your loved one, fear not. You can still print out totally cool, kickass valentines, like the one displayed to the right. That's right -- you can send an amorous message through various Breaking Bad characters, including the show's most baddest wheelchair villain, Hector Salamanca. Ding Ding.

Or you can check out College Humor's TV-inspired V-day cards, whose choices include television's greatest walking mustache, Mr. Ron Swanson of Parks & Rec. His face is in the shape of a heart, surrounded by bacon, alongside the phrase, "Is Your Name Tammy? Because I want to Marry You. Happy Valentine's Day, You Heartless Bitch." 

WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER...

If you're in the mood for romance, go with When Harry Met Sally, Dirty Dancing, Casablanca, or anything that pairs Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. If you want to start a tradition of watching campy horror films, begin with The Gingerdead Man. Maniacal screamer Gary Busey voices the 12-inch doughy killer, and though I don't think he knew he was filming a movie at the time, you've just got to trust me on this one. It's one of the greatest worst movies I've ever seen.

... OR MAKE YOUR OWN

If you thought "Bedroom Porn" just now, good for you. Do it up. Remember, Babeland is making free deliveries on Valentine's Day, so if you're in need of some props you can get 'em without having to leave the house. But you can also pair up with your Bee-Eff or Gee-Eff to make a non-sexy movie inside your apartment. Recently my boyfriend and I may or may not have choreographed and filmed a fight scene in the park that included large sticks and an improvised stunt wherein I leapt from a giant log. Shooting a mini movie together was fun and silly, and I highly recommend it. 

If you're flying solo this year, don't forget to check out our FiPS Guide to V-Day for Singles!