A Bank Robber's Guide to Park Slope NJ

Re-cesh got you down? Maybe its time to consider bank robbery!

Those yucksters over at NY Mag cooked up a killer list of do's and don'ts for any aspiring bank robbers out on the prowl: The New Etiquette of Bank Robbery.

We gotta hand it to em': the list is well thought out, chock full of great tips, and even green! (3. When making a getaway, always use public transportation).

Tres responsible.

But #4 is fucked up: Try to rob banks only in the boroughs. Every bank robbery in Manhattan has to be reported on the evening news, whereas it takes five in one day to report on the boroughs. Might we suggest Park Slope, any place in New Jersey, or Park Slope?

Ok, granted that suggestion is funny as shit, but we gotta pipe up regarding the fact that NJ would be a WAY better choice for a bank robb-er-ayyy. I mean, that place is a gigantic shithole!

In fact, we're gonna go one step further and suggest the following NJ towns as good places to start for any aspiring Jesse James-ers:

*Alpine - Rappers, celebs and rich Jews
*Franklin Lakes - Richy riches
*Short Hills - LOADS of rich Jews
*Livingston - more rich Jews
*Maplewood - sister city to Park Slope, yo!

Leave us alone in Park Slope...too many bebes in strollers runnin around while you're trying to grab people's money-n-shit.

*Awkward*