Woohoo, A Baby Expo Is Born In Brooklyn

I had been noticing this last month that virtually every woman in Park Slope is humongously pregnant, so I guess it was only a matter of time before we had our very own BROOKLYN BABY EXPO.

Cue the excited shrieks. Or not.

Attention all you incontinent, swollen mounds of stretch-marked flesh. Hear ye, all sleep-deprived, shell-shocked new 'rents!  Waddle and/or sleepwalk your way on over to the Toren Tower in scenic Downtown this Sunday for a day of FUN at BK's inaugural baby-focused shopping extravaganza.

Per that despicable newspaper that cannot be named. Oh fine, the NY Post.

“This is the best of the best,” said Karen Connell, expo organizer and founder of the blog, achildgrows.com. ”These are all the Brooklyn vendors we love. A new parent wouldn’t know these companies.”

Among the Brooklyn businesses heading to the expo will be bra fitter Iris Lingerie; children’s clothing designer Dressing Em; and Park Slope boutique Bump Brooklyn, which will be bringing comfortable yet stylish maternity wear.

In addition to products, the expo will be heavy on information, too. As such, the expo will feature seminars on greening your home, what baby gear to buy and when, and raising a good sleeper — which, not surprisingly, is one of the most popular so far, said Connell.

Between seminars, you can get a manicure, learn CPR, test baby slings and a new tandem stroller by Kingerwagon — “It’s perfect for city dwellers who can’t get through bodega doors otherwise,” said Connell — take in a maternity fashion show, learn how to make baby food, and get a primer on installing a car seat.

I would sooner drive hot pincers through my eyelids would love to be there myself but, alas, I have a pressing engagement. Too bad Erica's out of town and can't cover this herself (now THAT I would pay to see), but I say we send our official "bay-bay correspondent" Bitchy Mom. BM: report in, babe.

Speaking of babes, I was a little surprised to hear that Park Slope's own sex toy purveyor Babeland will be one of the official exhibitionists. WHAT they'll be exhibiting, I cannot say (because we are not, in fact, a porn site). According to Babeland's official public relations officer Pamela, even though they must have known something about sex to get knocked-up in the first place, new and expecting parents are a bit at sea, you see. So, the Babeland folks will be filling in the informational gaps in the wasteland that is post-procreative-coitus: splaining how to get those juices flowing again (literally and figuratively).

Check in begins at 10:30. Parking (station wagon) is free.

Stroller parking is described as limited and the planners over at godblessthechild.com achildgrows.com have officially made our day here at FIPS by graciously requesting that you leave your big-ass monstrosity of a stroller at home if at all possible. Yeah, they said it, maybe not in so many words but that was the gist.

A Child Grows in Brooklyn Baby Expo at Toren [150 Myrtle Ave. at Flatbush Avenue Extension in Downtown, (917) 723-3616], March 13 from 11 am-4 pm. Tickets $35 ($60 for two, in advance). Kids are free.