Who Gives a Shit: Can You Describe Your Worst Date in the Length of a Tweet?

A friend of mine once described a bad first date in one simple sentence: "He's currently doing his medical residency at a local hospital," she said, "and not only did he admit to having NO bedside manner, instead insisting that his patients should be thankful that he's saving their lives, he boasted that everything he knows about medicine came from Wikipedia."

We've all got bad dating stories. Unfortunately, our friends and family don't always have time to listen to them (they've got babies, jobs and TiVo'd episodes of Parks & Rec to catch up on), so we're often left scrambling to describe the abbreviated versions. We here at FiPS have also been on some bad dates, which we'd like to share with you. And since we know that you guys ALSO have jobs and babies and shit, we've kept them short and simple the best way we know how: by making them the length of a Tweet. Enjoy!

Kim: I attended a speed dating event where hardly any men showed up. To fill the room, the sixty-something organizer stepped in. The longest eight minutes of my life.

Amanda: She dressed like a Sister Wife, had crazy eyes and kept quoting Broadway shows like she was in the cast. Not enough beers in the world.

Chinae gave me three stories, and they were all so amazingly bad that I couldn't decide on just one.

1. He shattered & spilled an entire bottle of balsamic vinegar on me, the table, and the floor within 5 minutes of arriving to the first date. 

2. I found out post-date, that this guy had taken my iPhone while I was in the bathroom and messaged himself photos of me from my own phone.

3. I had a first date that took me to an Air Show. i.e. Standing on the side of the road watching planes go by. They didn't even do tricks. 

Meredith: Flirting on 4 train turned into a Missed Connection. Terrible dinner, for which he didn't offer to pay. Tried to feel me up in Mad Sq. Park.

Shawn: last time i went on a date it was with a dude & i didn't realize it was a date. it wasn't the worst though cause he bought me dinner. unfortunately for him, i'm straight.

Kerri: 15 yrs old. We made out in my sister's Griswold-esque station wagon for 4 hours while she worked a Papa Gino's shift. Then we drove him home.

Thomas: Polish Pop Star who defected during Martial Law-obsessed with wild cats, Siegfried & Roy-showed me pictures of his pet serval, then pounced.

Have you ever been on a shitty date? (Of course you have.) Tell us about it in 140 characters or less!