What's Worse: The Pavillion Movie Theater or Nazis?

When New York Magazine declared Park Slope the best place to live in New York, I'm pretty sure it wasn't for our movie theater. Because The Pavilion is the worst piece of shit move theater I've ever been to in my life. 

I know I'm not the first to complain about this crap box. Back in November, there was a big uproar about a phantom bedbug problem over on the brooklynian message boards, which was later determined to be untrue (we covered it here and here). A few summers back, the air conditioning stopped working during a july heat wave (and the summer blockbuster weekend opening of The Dark Knight). And that's just the tip of it. Have you ever met someone in Park Slope who says, "you should totally check out The Pavilion - it's a great theater"?I highly doubt it.

Because like death, taxes, and weekend F train delays, The Pavilion being a total shithole is one of the only things in life you can count on.  

Now before I get into this, let me throw down a disclaimer: when I go to the movies, I fully expect everyone around me to act like total assholes. Holding seats for no reason, talking to the screen, spilling food everywhere, answering phones, letting their kids run around, getting in fights - I've seen it all, and none of it surprises me. people are dicks. They're dicks on the subway. They're dicks at restaurants. They're dicks everywhere in life. Why wouldn't they be dicks in the movies? Personally, I refuse to let those twats get the better of me.

What I *don't* expect, however, is for the theater amenities to be non-existent and/or falling apart around me. If my ass pays $11 for a ticket, I expect that ass to be able to sit on a seat that's not broken or encrusted in filth. I expect to be in a theater bigger than my apartment, with a screen that actually makes me feel comfortable using the term "big screen." The Pavilion ruins EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE expectations.

I mean, let's face it: when those bed bugs rumors popped up in November, no one was *really* surprised. The reason they spread like wildfire is because anyone who's actually been to The Pavilion knows that shit is completely plausible. 

Here's proof. What you're about to see is documentation of Theater 3, taken after the 9:30 p.m. showing of Kick Ass on Saturday night. You can tell what theater it was and what was playing there by the professional electronic sign with scrolling showtimes hanging over the main door.

Like most Park Slopers, my friends and I only found ourselves at The Pavilion because it was the last possible option. Here's what we found:

Beautiful, right?

Look, I'm all for supporting the independent theater, but The Pavilion is such a friggin crapfest, I find myself hoping that AMC will step in, buy the place, and once-and-for-all fix shit. Until then, I'd rather head over to Court Street (and as we all know, Court Street sucks a dick).



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tagged PSlope WTF, movies