What's a Perfect Brooklyn Afternoon For Tourists?

The Botanic Garden / Image via Flickr User MrGeneko

It’s finally Spring, you guys, and Spring means one thing for New Yorkers: the beginning of tourist season! This, of course, also means that friends and family are coming to visit, and following an afternoon of The Empire State Building and Madame Tussauds you'll have to force them out of Manhattan and over to our beloved borough. “Come see how the other half lives!” you’ll say. “Do I need a bulletproof vest?” they’ll ask. But you are very persuasive, and will convince them that Brooklyn is great. Really great. 

But what the hell do you do with your guests once they’re in Brooklyn? There’s so much to see and do, and a lot of it’s not particularly near one another. The Awl’s Choire Sicha recently asked readers what their opinion of the perfect Brooklyn afternoon for tourists is. In my experience, it’s difficult to show off Brooklyn in one day, but many of the Awl commenters had some great suggestions on certain places to hit up. The Botanic Garden came up quite a few times. With cherry blossoms currently in full bloom, this seems like a perfect idea.

Many readers also suggested strolling up either Vanderbilt in Prospect Heights or Smith Street in Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill and checking out the bars and restaurants along the way. Another very common suggestion was the Brooklyn Flea in Fort Greene. Finally, many commenters suggested hopping on the G train (if there is such a thing as just “hopping” on the G train) and heading up to Williamsburg to show off our hipster cousin neighborhood to the north. Other suggestions were Greenwood Cemetery, Dekalb Market, Four and Twenty Blackbirds for pie, the Brooklyn Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge Park, and Coney Island.

But none of this is in Park Slope! There’s got to be something for tourists to do in Park Slope! My parents will be in town this weekend, and I want them to finally understand why I like it here. Their last visit did not go well. Shortly after I moved to Brooklyn, they came to town for a visit. It was important for me to show them around the neighborhood a bit, to help them understand its unique appeal. We started off with brunch in Cobble Hill for a little variety and made our way down Smith Street, hopped on the train to 7th Avenue, stopped in some of 7th Avenue’s shops, and grabbed a slice (my dad had been talking about getting a real Brooklyn slice since I moved). But we also came upon a bit of a hindrance: our perfect little Brooklyn day was also the day of Snowpocalypse 2010.

We lumbered through three feet of snow as the city shut down around us. Our beloved Slope was almost impossible to see. The beautiful Brownstones, which I had been so excited to show off to my folks, were buried in a white blanket of fuck-you-for-trying-to-do-this,-Daniel-snow. We scrambled for a new plan, and ended up at the Pavilion for a matinee showing of The Fighter. I hadn’t yet experienced that theater’s special brand of moviegoing hell, and perhaps the homeless woman who greeted us in the lobby should have been an omen of sorts, but we trudged forward. Of course, I needn’t explicate our experience, as we’ve all been burned by the Pavillion before, but you can imagine my parents’ horror. This was a far cry from the sparkling megaplexes of the midwest. We made it to our dinner reservation at Stone Park Cafe, and though it was delicious, it was too late to resuscitate the day. Brooklyn would never get another chance to make a first impression on my parents.

So given my failed attempt at showing off our neighborhood to my folks (and several subsequent mediocre efforts with friends), I’m turning to you, readers of Fucked in Park Slope, to tell me your ideas for a perfect day in Park Slope. You can include activities in other neighborhoods (just don’t tell me to go to Grimauldi’s because I WILL NOT wait two hours for pizza), but please make it as Slope-centric as possible.