What Should I Do With My Bike For The Winter?

[via ninedaves]

In the warm NYC months, I practically live on my bicycle. Whether I'm going to work or putzing around the neighborhood, I'm pretty much always on two wheels. But as much as I love biking, I hate being cold waaay more. So the second the temperature drops, I drag my bike inside, buy a Metro card and countdown the days until biking season starts again.

This year, however, I've found myself in a bit of predicament. I have absolutely no idea where to put my bike for the winter. 

I used to keep my bike in the hallway. But my landlord has laid down the law (something about fire hazards...) and kicked all my shit out. There's no storage in the basement because it's filled with all her belongings from the past 80 years of her life. I recently got a roommate, who moved in with a bunch of her own stuff (including another bike), so I've sadly run out of space in the apartment itself. And, try as I may, I can't install those nifty hooks in my walls/ceiling to mount my bike (believe me -- I have the holes everywhere to prove it).

So right now, my bike is locked outside on my front gate, rusting away in the bitter cold. And although it's not covered in snow yet like the picture above, it's only a matter of time. Take a hard look at that shot, bike. This is your future. 

I ask you, dear FIPSters, what should I do to ensure my bike makes it through winter with the least amount of damage? Wrap it in plastic? Pre-treat it with some sort of anti-freeze something or other? I've already taken off my seat. Should I remove my wheels? My chain? Or is there a better place for my bike? Some storage space I can rent or something? How do you people do it? TEACH ME EVERYTHING.

PS: I've named all my bikes. This current one is a rough and tough mountain bike, so I had to name him after the most x-treme person I knew. Dan Cortese. You know, host of MTV Sports. Star of Veronica's Closet. Yes, that Dan Cortese. Now that you know this, please go back and read this entire piece, replacing "bike" or "bicycle" with "Dan Cortese." A much better read, don't you think?