Sex and a Party: What's Not to Love?

Apparently I'm niching as a sex party FIPS columnist which is hysterical because the number of sex parties I've attended is still zero. I'm sure you don't remember, but last year I clued you in to a Park Slope-based female and transgendered sex party called Submit. Now there's a newer, bigger and apparently friendlier sex party in town and who busted this story wide open? It was none other than that filthy rag, Business Insider. 

Although we don't know exactly where in Brooklyn this sex party is, Business Insider says it's in a tasteful brick rowhouse. And unlike the sex parties of ole with sticky tile floors, black walls and awful smells, this comfy home has "hardwood floors, modern-day appliances, black granite countertops, and a beautiful outdoor patio with a hot tub for up to several people." Could be Park Slope or it could be in 10 other neighborhoods, but since our reputation precedes itself, I wouldn't be shocked if it was here.

This party is run by someone known only as "Mr. Sparks" and he wants to change the way you think about sex parties. He's been throwing them now for four years after being sorely disappointed with one he attended in Manhattan. At his parties, people come looking to "make new friends" engage in conversation and then probably some sex. Unlike other parties there is no age limit as long you're 18 or older and there is no profiling. All sexes and sexualities are welcomed as well. And all those who attend do not have to have sex and just because you show up doesn't guarantee you're going to get some. 

The relaxed atmosphere is very intentional as Sparks told BI: "We're a bunch of adults and we've come together because we're all slutty and want to rub our genitals against each other in as many extreme ways as possible. That's funny. You get to laugh about it. If you can't laugh at sex, you're missing out. Sex should not be hyper-serious. It's real funny." My my rubbing gentitals in extreme ways does sound hysterical. 

Even though Sparks goes out of his way to create a "come as you are" feel, there are rules like: feel free to bring booze but don't bring drugs. If you get handsy without permission you're are asked to leave. If you're asked to leave twice, you're banished for life. The party's capacity is 150 and if you receive an invite it's for you only. If you choose to bring someone, you have to vouch for them. If they get out of hand you both get kicked out. If you strike it up with someone and you decide it's time to do the deed, you can do it anywhere in the house basically (I'd hate to have to clean that house) and remember you don't have to have sex. Again, Sparks with his favorite -ly adjective: "There are lots of people that don’t do anything and not because they’re not slutty people but because they’re really into talking to their friends."

What's not to love? Well, maybe it's the required-viewing "confrontational art." If you want to get busy, first you have to start the party by watching women stab themselves or worse, Sparks himself doing stuff in clown face. As one attendee said, "One of the cons of the party is the entertainment. People go in there already feeling sexy, and then they stop everything and make everyone sit down. You feel chained.... Sometimes it's sexy and sometimes it's horrifying, especially when you get into more hardcore BDSM." Sounds like a real boner shrinker to me. 

At the end of day, Sparks considers this sort of a hobby. He doesn't charge at the door and only asks for donations to pay the artists. All he wants to do is create a nice comfortable, friendly place for people to bone. Mr. Sparks proves that takes a village...or approximately 150 people.