[Reverse Advice Column]: Is It Safe To Tie My Pooch Up Outside While Running Into A Bodega?

I’ve had an adorable pit/lab puppy named Carlin for approximately 3 months.  When I run to the corner market to grab a few groceries I prefer to bring Carlin along so he can get some fresh air and empty his tank on someone’s bicycle tire. I usually tie him up just outside while I run in to grab a few essentials.  No big deal. When I exit the bodega I usually walk out to see some cute little hipster pawing at a piece of string with my puppy. This works beautifully in Brooklyn. All is right with the world.

This is not the case in Manhattan (specifically NoHo).  I bring George Jr. to work with me quite frequently and while I run to grab my morning caffeine fix I tie him up for a few minutes. Each time I walk outside, I'm greeted with some stern-faced Mafioso who reprimands me for leaving my dog to die. Every. Single. Time. 

No, he hasn’t been tied up for hours.

No, I haven’t abandoned him.

No, he isn’t hungry or thirsty -- he feasted not thirty minutes ago.

Yes, you are a nice human being for caring about animals, but stop getting all PETA on my ass and treating me like I’m the type of person who wears mustard-stained wife beaters.  I even avoided tying Carlin up last week because of the unbearable heat, but since it’s cooled down the past few days, I see no problem with it. It’s not like he’s barking his face off. He literally sits there chillaxing with his tail-a-waggin’.  

My last two confrontations have been especially noteworthy. Yesterday a man walked over to pet Carlin while I unclipped him from one those water pipe things. He looks at me and says “What’s the difference between someone’s dog and their wife?” I stared blankly at the man. He said, “If you lock them both up in your trunk, at least the dog will still be happy to see you.” Granted, if my friend told me this I would probably think it’s funny because it takes a lot to offend me. There was something entirely too awkward about a strange man telling me this on the side of the street.  

Today the same scenario occurred when I was confronted by a homeless woman.  “You shouldn’t leave your dog tied up like that," she said. "The homeless will steal your dog and then sell it to dog fighters." This statement confused me. I would usually just forget about such an encounter, but the fact that she was homeless herself befuddled me.  Since she was imparting this knowledge on me, does that mean she would have stolen my dog if I wasn’t around? I know I’m pretty naive, but are there still underground dog fighting rings in NYC? Who has the space for that? 

So help me out. Do you tie your dog up outside, or do you think I’m an idiot for doing so? Should I heed the homeless woman’s words, or should I just start hanging a sign on my dog that says “my owner will be back in 2 minutes?”