Park Slope Craigslist Blotter
Erica | Friday, March 28, 2014 at 6:30PM 
Newlywed couple wants to get a puppy but AH! They don’t have time for it. They just want nighttime snuggles. Crazy kids. So they'd like to split puppy custody with another family. You get it during the day when they're at work and they'll get it at night while you go bartend or dig graves or whatever people who work at night do. They don't say anything about what happens when they get divorced though. So you might want to ask about the details of their prenuptial agreement.
Pretty sweet chair…for welcoming guests into your jungle themed dungeon. That's cool though. I think Elvis had one. You've got to have a sweet animal rug to pair with it. Ask the seller if they can accommodate that before sealing any deals.
In 1987 Cher was riding high. Moonstruck AND the Witches of Eastwick were that year. She signed a new record label deal and got her first top ten hit in 8 years. She also dated Val Kilmer, Eric Stoltz, Tom Cruise and Bon Jovi (why yes, in just that year alone). She ripped off her bedroom door to put in a turnstile while Maverick and Iceman got into a fist fight in the parking lot over who'd get to brush her hair. You get the point. It was a very good year. So to capitalize on it she released this perfume. We don't know shit about it. The seller has never even opened it. It's for sale though.
MISSED CONNECTION: Raymond Chandler Fan
I'm so sick of hearing about Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett. We've all read them. It's good stuff. Whatever. Yes, girls can read boy books. Sometimes it's the Hardy Boys instead of Nancy Drew. Is that okay with you, bro? We don't spank them if they're caught doing it. Unless they ask for it of course. Then by all means spank away.
Mustaches are tough to pull off. His is pretty fucking juicy though. You could sweep the floors with that thing. I'm talking about pussy. He is helped enormously, though, by the fact that he's wearing a shirt with his own face on it. I hope this becomes a thing. Lady Cena fan out there…did you ever smooch a guy and feel a monstrosity of facial hair tickling you from eyebrows to ear lobes? This is your chance.
You know what girls love? When you notice what brand of tight pants they are wearing. Probably while staring at their ass. It just drives them wild. I've heard sometimes it even causes them to break out in spontaneous orgasms. The fire department has to show up and turn the hose on them to make it stop.
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