Parents of 5th Graders Feeling Truly F'd in Park Slope Today

Image via ms51.orgOh my god, hold on, let me catch my breath. I’m panting. I just managed to snag one of the very last tickets to the Beatles reunion concert,  I mean the one with John and George raised from the dead! slots for a tour of local Park Slope Middle School 51.

What?

If you’re reading this blog, you very likely live in New York City. If you live in New York City and have school-age children, they might very well be among the one of the city’s million public school kids. If you don’t live in NYC and/or you don’t have kids aged 9 and above, you don’t know that your child has to APPLY to PUBLIC middle school. I know. Apply, pretty much like applying to college: tours and open houses and special tests and auditions and interviews. For ten-year-olds.

And if you have a 5^th grader and live in the neighborhood whence comes the name of this blog, today you could be truly fucked in Park Slope. Unless you were sitting at your computer at 10:57 frantically hitting “refresh,” waiting for the MS 51 tour sign-up to go live, you may have missed the sign-up. I repeat, you may not have a slot for the 51 tour.

Woe was me as I had a meeting AT 11fuckingo’clock, out of which I dashed when I remembered that time was ticking. As I logged in my heart was racing; as I scrolled down for the different tours and saw “All slots filled” again and again my breath was short. Ohgodohgodohgod… Until, finally, AN OPEN SLOT. I didn’t even look to see what day or what time. I would’ve taken a midnight slot on Christmas eve. The sheer relief of snagging a slot left me panting. I’m not saying it felt like I was number 1 in line for a new kidney, but I’m betting it’s close.

And by 12:15, if not sooner, all 500 slots were full.

But that’s just how we do. So laugh it up, Ballers. But don’t expect to get a seat at the Gate tonight. Any of us miserable saps who were faced with this devastating message some time around noon today have already planted themselves on all the barstools, and aren’t leaving. Our poor 51-less 10-year-olds are going to have to put themselves to bed tonight.