No Sleep Till... You Pay 5 Mill to Live in Cobble Hill

Tagged facade not included!

Mike D. of the Beastie Boys is building a $5 million townhouse on the corner of Beorum and Pacific right smack dab next to the Slope. And it ain't for him. He wants you to buy it. Gothamist reported that Mike Diamond (Mike D. duh), his wife Tamra Davis and their architect friends joined forces to create a home that just screams Brooklyn.

How you ask? Well besides the inflated price tag, it's reported to have a roof terrace and a "flexible space" which is described by the New York Times as perfect for "editing films, recording albums or just painting and doing yoga." The flexible space in my apartment is perfect for standing perfectly still in one tiny spot and holding your breath. But this isn't about me and my shit box apartment, it's about Mike D. and the house he is trying to sell you. Sorry. 

The project started when Mr. Diamond was coaching his son on a basketball court four years ago. He meets another guy, John Bouratoglou who happens to be an architect. The two start chatting it up over light fixtures and what makes a good building and bam... no they don't make out... Bouratoglou convinces the Diamonds to dump their place in TriBeCa, buy a fixer-upper townhouse in Cobble Hill and now the two are in business fixing other townhouses in Cobble Hill and flippin' them. 

Mr. Diamond, whose mother was an interior designer, apparently has a penchant for design as he and is wife have designed homes for themselves in Atlanta and Malibu. Oh did I forget to mention they have their own line of Brooklyn-inspired toile wallpaper? Cause they do. Look into it.

Sure some of you may be a little saddened that a once twenty-something bad ass has found his way to his 40's renovating Brooklyn townhouses with two kids in private school and all the other crap that comes with being a bougie Brooklynite. To you, Mike D. has something to say: "What, am I supposed to live in a frat house forever? It's not like Jay-Z's still in the projects." His wife told the Times that this move of designing and flipping is more than a hobby, "It's more like 'Skills to Pay the Bills.'" Sing on sister, we might all do the same. 

Do you want to buy this place? It can be yours for $4.98 smackers. And I promised myself I would not litter this post with Beastie Boy lyric puns, save the title and the quote from Mike D's wife. But I will leave you with a link to this masterpiece that still remains one of my top 5 favorite songs ever and... this easter egg for all you real dweebs.