New York Magazine: We Demand A Retraction

Nate Silver, a statistician known for his uncanny accuracy, has apparently declared Park Slope to be the #1 neighborhood in all of NYC in this week's New York Magazine, just behind the Lower East Side, Sunnyside, Queens and fucking Greenpoint, for chrissakes.

Nabes, according to the Daily News, were evaluated according to "a complicated statistical formula that factors in everything from diversity to safety to nightlife, giving housing affordability more weight than any other category."

I'm telling you now: THIS WILL NOT STAND.

Isn't this place already overrun with enough assholes? Now we need to worry about a new wave of assholes who are probably packing up to move here right now because of this new designation alone? 

Need I remind you, New York Magazine: WE ARE AN OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED TOXIC WASTE ZONE. We are home to some of the most sanctimonious people in the known universe. We shut down disgracefully early. We are overpriced and full of ourselves. You can't count on your favorite coffee joint being open on a Saturday morning because the staff may stage a mass walkout. As one lifer told me last week, "we got no pulse anymore." In short, we are despicable in so many ways I've lost count, so please, PLEASE: don't move here!

Some of the comments to the Daily News piece were a lot more uncannily accurate than the pablum in the New York Magazine evaluation:

brooklyndan

7:14 AM
Apr 11, 2010

A neighborhood only reaches this level of greatness because of the quality of its residents. On average, we are more intelligent, educated sophisticated and forward thinking than most other New Yorkers. Park Slope is great because our residents are great.

BUT A DISPROPORTIONATE # OF US ARE SO FULL OF OURSELVES AS TO BRAZENLY PROCLAIM THAT "WE ARE MORE INTELLIGENT, EDUCATED, SOPHISTICATED AND FORWARD THINKING THAN MOST OTHER NEW YORKERS," WHICH SHOWS JUST HOW INCREDIBLY ANNOYING AND ENTITLED AND MISBEGOTTEN WE CAN ALSO BE.

RotorRooter

8:16 AM
Apr 11, 2010

Diversity was one of the factors that made park slope number one? Are they kidding? I guess they're correct if by diversity they meant straight people and lots and lots of lesbians living in the same hood. Otherwise, referring to this neighborhood as "diverse" is a joke.

RotorRooter

8:18 AM
Apr 11, 2010

Correction: White lesbians.

RotorRooter

8:21 AM
Apr 11, 2010

Correction #2: White straight people.

dipsydoodle

8:57 AM
Apr 11, 2010

I wouldn't live in Park Slope for anything. A couple of years ago one of the more popular real estate blogs had a contest where people submitted what they felt would make the most appropriate "motto" for Park Slope. The winner was "Park Slope: What's Ours is Ours". And that just about sums it up. The basic vibe in the Slope is set by trust fund babies and Nazi stroller moms.

sikandtired

9:59 AM
Apr 11, 2010

Would not live there if you paid me. Too many pompous stuck up dorks.

JohnE

11:32 AM
Apr 11, 2010

Indeed, there are nice restaurants in Park Slope as there are in Bay Ridge but both neighborhoods have one thing in common...you could lose your appetite trying to find a parking spot!

Yankees621

12:31 PM
Apr 11, 2010

Park Slope residents, just like the ones of Billyberg, LES, and the Village, have turned it into glorified strip malls. They aren't neighborhoods anymore, they have driven out longtime residents and the longtime stores that served them. It's good to have a neighborhood bar or two, not 10 on one street. Butchers, green grocers, and bakeries have disappeared. Not having to go anywhere else in the city is not what this city is about. We get to meet other people, try new things, encounter different cultures when we use, gasp, public transportation to get around. When I was at Columbia, I loved to go to Grimaldi's or the Biergarden in Queens. I liked going uptown for honey glazed fried chicken or Chinatown for authentic Chinese cuisine. Corner Bistro has always been my favorite place to eat burgers, drink beer, and watch Yankees games. Transplants are eroding the culture of our city.

YYYYESSSSS!!!!

PGUNNA13

12:46 PM
Apr 11, 2010

Being born and raised in park slope, south slope to be exact...it's an insult to all who are originally there to see "new York" magazine to declare this the best neighborhood, once all these out of town hicks and hippies moved in... and alot of the original faces left... there definitely is no sense of community, no kids outside playing handball, no manhunt, no REAL block parties... i miss the faces and PERSONALITIES from the old Park Slope...

Ok so, your turn: what do you all have to say for yourselves?